Why Every Working Woman Needs To Find A Mentor

Having a mentor can make a big difference to a woman’s career, career choices and ability to make the best of those choices.

“A mentor is someone who sees more talent and ability within you, than you see in yourself, and helps bring it out of you.” – Bob Proctor

When I became a first-time mother my career gears shifted. Having been on top gear for about a decade, I quickly recognized that as a working mother, “I have to switch gears for some time.”

Today, as I look back to connect the dots – I can say that I am happy with the choices and decisions I made. And thankfully, they were possible due to the role played by a few trusted mentors who provided the much need ear and advise when I was going through phases of change, dealing with uncertainty, or was just unsure about myself / things!

I’ve been fortunate to have a couple of mentors as a part of my career journey – They primarily included my father, my husband, ex-managers at work and a couple of close well-wishers and advisors.

What women need in a mentor

So here is the first fact. From my own career journey, I can say that having a ‘real mentor’ can make an ocean of difference in the life and career of women.

And here’s the second fact. The sad reality is that many women leaders have never really had mentors; and so they don’t know what it means to have one or what difference a mentor can make in your life

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At the outset, let’s try to define who exactly is a mentor.

Someone who:

• Is a listener; and a good one
• Is non-judgmental
• Has your best long term interests in mind
• Who truly understands a personal context/situation
• Is experienced to handle a diverse set of ‘real-life’ issues
• Is neutral and balanced in views, outlook and perspective
• Has the maturity to act as a trusted guide, confidante, counselor, adviser
• Does not have any personal motives/gains from the interaction / mentorship
• And specifically in the case of women, has some insights, understanding and appreciation of the unique challenges that women could possibly undergo in their career journey

While the above list may not be exhaustive, if you can find someone who qualifies for the above, he/she can potentially be your mentor.

How mentors impact a woman’s life at work

Mentors make a difference in a number of ways:

• By listening – to your thoughts, emotions, questions and the dilemma at hand
• By helping you acknowledge and recognize that phases of change/transition are only ‘temporary’. For example, as a new mother tending 24 X 7 to the needs of your baby, it is so easy to wonder if that’s how your life is going to be – forever! During one such phase, what made a difference was when one of my mentors told me, “Children will not remain babies forever”. Logically, I knew this! But when you are a first-time mother, it is almost impossible to look beyond your little world!
• By enabling you to accept what is in your control, and what is beyond your control
• By compelling you to think about possibilities, choices and alternatives
• By suggesting options/alternatives with a logical and balanced view taking a holistic and long term view of the issue
• By helping you reach a decision; and take responsibility for the decision
• By extending support, as applicable/feasible to execute and live the decision

Looking back at my own career journey and in interactions with other women leaders, I can definitely say that there are a few milestones that influence the career choices a woman makes. And during these phases, having a mentor can truly make all the difference:

Career role transitions such as taking up a new role which is very different from her current or past line of work (for e.g., a move from Project Management to Marketing, a move from a customer facing project to internal support project, etc.) either due to personal choice or circumstance

Career breaks due to personal priorities and commitments such as marriage, raising children, spouse’s transfer/re-location, tending to ailing parents, personal health issues, personal emergencies, etc.

Career shifts such as moving from an IT job to becoming an entrepreneur

Career exits such as the decision to not pursue an active career for a finite or infinite time – either by choice or lack of choice

Call for action: What you can do here and now

If you’re a woman and at a crucial point in your career, try to find a mentor who can help, guide or advise you. Sometimes, we fail to recognize that people around us such as parents, spouse or friends and relatives can be very good mentors. If only we speak up, share and listen – It can really make a difference.

If you are a leader in a position of influence, play the role of an active mentor to a woman – It can change someone’s career and life!

In conclusion, some food for thought:

• Are enough leaders playing the role of mentors – especially for women?
• Are mentors more important / significant in a women’s career?
• Are successful women leaders mentoring other women – either within the organization or as part of the industry ecosystem?

I would like to hear your views on the subject. Leave a comment to let me know. 

Pic credit: net efekt (Used under a Creative Commons license)

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