Are We Truly Connected To The People We Live With?

We live in a digitized world, a world we are all connected with. But are we connected to the people we live with? Here’s what the writer thinks.

Does being addicted to digital apps steal away the best moments from your life? Does it make you a stranger to the person you are living with? Of course it does! I love being connected, everyone does, but have you ever thought of being connected to the people you live with?

I was out on a solo sojourn the other day. I was happily munching my way through a chicken salad when a lovely couple, out for a candle light dinner caught my attention. The scene looked perfect as each went through the menu card deciding on a drink, main course and a sweet dish for later. ‘Sigh’ was my instant reaction when the man helped his lady to the costliest drink. But all my fantasy of a happily ever after vaporised when out came two mobile phones and each got engrossed into their own phone.

I call this phenomenon the missing conversation. This missing conversation is the heart of many failed relationships. I will tell you why!

Distance grows

It is a very common sight that we see today. A family is spending time together. Yes, they are physically present in the same room but each person is engrossed with someone else on the phone or Internet. It gets all the more dangerous, yes dangerous because you do not know who the other is connecting with. Who is the person you share a home with so connected to all the time?  A family get-together in the days when I was a child meant a picnic, a game of badminton in the lawn, or maybe everyone watching a live magic show or circus. All got involved and this did not end there. We came back with memories of the time well spent. Today’s family get-together feels like nothing but a forced formality.

Stranger to your own kin

Distance replaces the warmth that should have existed between families and you become a stranger to the person you live with. The other day, a friend of mine who was having a problem in her marriage realised that her husband loves snorkelling. She came to know of it the day she announced her plans to go snorkelling with her friends. Each were too busy to talk to each other. So, they missed out on the one thing that they could have bonded on. This is just the first consequence of being connected.

Miss out on the outdoors

‘What do you do on a free day?’ I asked a friend. She is a working mom with two kids and a very charming husband. ‘Watch TV’ was her reply. The whole day? I asked. She affirmed it. She watches shows she likes, her husband watches sports, one kid plays games on the computer while the youngest one watches cartoons on a laptop. A free day to me means playing games outdoors with your kids, getting all sweaty after a fun game or having a barbecue dinner and bonding with family and friends. Am I the only one with such ‘now so primitive’ ideas?

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I was jolted back to the present when my plate was empty and I was presented the bill. On my way out I saw a family on another table. The mom, dad and kids were laughing over some family joke. The grandmother too had a wide smile while wiping away tears of happiness from her eyes. A little while later I eavesdropped on them and realised that they were there for no reason. Just to celebrate life as it is! And yes, as I passed by their table I saw that even the grandma had a sleek mobile near her bag. The difference is that they all knew what to prioritize in life. Life itself!

I walked out of the restaurant with the thought that yes, there is still hope in this world. I looked back at the elite couple with the candles still lit, the expensive drink fizzing in their glasses and the phones still in their hands. I blessed them hoping they would one day see the happiness of being connected to the people they share their present with.

Couple on phone image via Shutterstock

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