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January 22, 2016

Homemakers, Have More Confidence In Yourselves. You Are Your Family’s Anchors!

A homemaker's confidence in herself might suffer in today's society, as she is perceived to be a good-for-nothing who is not contributing financially in any way. Far from it.

purnima nandy

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A homemaker’s confidence in herself might suffer in today’s society, as she is perceived to be a good-for-nothing who is not contributing financially in any way. Far from it.
When I see people around me, women especially, I see there exists many kinds of confidence. There is the well deserved confidence that comes from having achieved something in life, having reached a certain position and having put certain goals behind themselves. Great writers, artists, scientists and business women… we have a whole list of them around the world and when they stand up and share their opinion and their confidence it feels acceptable and well deserved. Its the kind of confidence that one would want for themselves.
The second is pseudo confidence. The one that comes purely out of the self’s view of themselves. It is not validated by performance, accomplishment or peers. It’s the kind of blind confidence that one has with which they steer their course in life, giving opinions and leading the way and surprisingly despite the feedback they get their confidence is not hampered or lowered. They feel their opinion is right and justified and needs to be out there.
Then there’s the third kind of confidence. the silent kind. This confidence is not a 100% but it is there trying to grow and steer the person towards her goals. At most times, this kind of confidence seeks validation. It seeks a third party reassurance that the confidence should exist. This unfortunately is the confidence that has the danger of dying or being crushed by not being out there.
Women today, many of us, are suffering from this silent confidence. We know we are good at something and our strengths lie in a certain trade, art or profession but the silence and the lack of validation is killing this confidence slowly. One of the biggest suspects of this confidence killer is the role of a house wife or a homemaker because in the day to day, mundane, and routine delivery of household goals this confidence gets silenced and lost. It sometimes dies because of a lack of an outlet or validation, and because of the way society looks at and places this role of homemaker.
I’ve been playing this role for just over a year now and I don’t want to be labelled as one at all. Why? Because its a confidence killer for me. Since I’m in between jobs currently, I am playing the homemaker role full time as opposed to a part time capacity. In this last one year I’ve seen a definite dip in my self confidence. It is the connotation that society puts on this role that slowly kills the identity of the person performing this role.
Let me admit that as a homemaker, I feel it is a very difficult role. It is exhausting and tiring and endless. It is not very rewarding and not intellectually stimulating. But the biggest fall side to this role is the fact that one cannot see the monetary value it brings because it’s hidden. It is the money one saves as opposed to the money one makes in this role. Taking care of the house and its people has never been rewarded and there’s really no job growth or promotions. But without it one cannot function.
I’ve realised and thought about the connection between this role and confidence and I see now that they are inversely related. Its a confidence killer and that’s not how it should be. It is high time that we change how we perceive what and who a homemaker is and does, so that they people who are full time employed in this role are not looked down upon or made to feel poorly about themselves. We need to start having positive conversations about this role and realising the financial benefits of it as well. Because let’s face it in the economic world finance is the king!
A homemaker is not someone who is low in intellect or someone who has nothing better to do neither is she someone who has no talent or is lazy to sit at home. She is someone who is playing the silent role of an anchor and steering the ship forward, docking it whenever needed and safeguarding it from drifting away. She is the one in the water constantly getting rusty and without her, the large glamorous ship won’t sail. So don’t kill her confidence neither let her confidence be silent. It needs a voice and it needs to be out there!

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About the Author

purnima nandy

A learning and development professional with a passion for writing. Publishing my writing is my greatest ambition. I truly believe that a steaming hot cup of coffee and a book can cure any ailment. I read more...

8 Posts | 33,447 Views

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