Struck By The ‘Leaving The Nest Syndrome’ As I Grow Older And Wiser

As children, we might be oblivious to the ‘empty nest syndrome‘ that affects our parents. Some of us, though, might get the ‘leave the nest syndrome’.

“We all want to grow up. We’re desperate to get there, to grab all the opportunities we can… to live. We’re busy trying to get out of that nest. We don’t think about the fact that it’s going to be cold out there… really frekin’ cold. Because growing up sometimes means leaving people behind. And by the time we stand we stand on our own two feet…we’re standing there alone.
Meredith Grey
Grey’s Anatomy- Season 7

Well, we have all know about the ’empty nest syndrome’. But as Newton said, ‘Every action has equal and opposite reaction’. So does the ’empty nest syndrome’. It is called ‘leaving the nest syndrome’.

But, still ‘leaving the nest syndrome’ has not completely vanished, at least not for me. Yes, parents with a heavy heart send their children to greener pastures in search of better education and financial independence. It is a tough decision for them and for the children as well.

I clearly remember the day my 12th standard board results were out. It was those times when the Internet was in its initial stages and still not had made way into our homes. My parents were all excited by my results. I was just hoping to get pass marks, but I had distinction in all three main subjects and the happiness of my parents knew no boundaries.

Soon after the results the real gruelling session of applying for various courses in prestigious colleges of Delhi University began. My dad ran from one college to another filling up forms along with me, from North Campus to South Campus, waiting for the cut-off list, now the school life appeared so much easy as compared to running around various colleges for the admission, during school days every thing was ready on the platter, parents making my fee payment to filling up forms and purchasing stationary, but now entering the college life meant all on my own.

Soon all joys of passing with flying colors subsided, preparation for the college life began and I became more independent now, but still I was staying with my parents, but moving on to do my Masters further meant moving to a new place, leaving my parents and staying in a hostel or with my relatives.

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Finally that day also came, when for doing my masters I had stay away from my parents for the very first time, so my parents decided to drop me at my relatives house but before leaving me there all on my own they stayed with me at our relatives place to settle me down, as it was the first time that their fledgling was leaving their nest. Bags and suitcases were packed with clothes, articles of daily needs and lots of dos and don’ts. They left me their with heavy hearts and me on the verge of crying, being comforted by my relatives.

My parents home soon became like a holiday home for me, which I visited during vacations and festivals. I got busy preparing for my competitive exams, making new friends and building a new nesting place. It was only initially that I made regular phone calls to my parents, then it came down to weekends. I never realized that in order to move ahead in my life, I was actually moving away from my parents, my original nest, my home.

Soon completing my studies, gave way to my job and then getting married. I got busy settling in my own life, looking after my new family, my time mostly devoted to my child and husband. Now even summer or winter vacations lost their significance, the festivals now meant more of preparations rather than indulging in home made sweets by mom. The most peaceful sleep that I ever got was at my home, which has now become just my parents home as I had build a new nest for myself, but still whenever I go there I just sleep for hours without much worrying about the door-bell ringing or whether all doors are locked before sleeping in the night.

It’s only within the walls of my home that I don’t have the fear of being judged on what I say or do. My home (parents’ home) still has my room despite the fact that I hardly spend even one month with them now. The pink walls of my room in the old nest reminds me of my days as a teenager, wanting every thing pink, my toys and dolls are still intact and beautifully displayed in the cub board.

I feel that somewhere there is the urge to make big in life or the desire for bigger future prospects, buying superficial pleasures and on the other hand the longing to go back to my old nest, where my parents live . All this leaves me all tired and exhausted, as if a tug-of-war going on. I miss my old nest, at times regret leaving it.

It is not easy leaving your nest, at times I just want to relive those years I spent away from my home, I missed so many precious moments and occasions when my mother made finger licking delicacies for others and not me, as I was away.

At this age when I have spent half my life away from home, I now realize that it is now too late to go back home. Now I can make temporary visits or be a guest, as now I have another nest to built, renovate and look after. But I miss my original nest. I never knew I would return only in fits and spurts, but it still gives place to my toys and dolls, my certificates and trophies, which may not find place in my current home but they are beautifully displayed in my old nest. Even my report cards are maintained so well that it may give competition now to the report class of my daughter studying in Grade-1.

Yes we all have to move-on in life. To have a comfortable and easy life, we have to make sacrifices and so do our parents. I just wish that all us who have come to far off cities in search of a living have the chance of going back to our beautiful abodes more often.

Home is where our parents live. This realization dawned on me when I myself became a parent. It is now that I realize how difficult it would have been for them to let us go and themselves live in that nest all alone, which they built collecting each straw with their labour and hard-work, at the same time raising and bringing us up, and one fine day allowed their own kids to leave the nest for soaring new heights.

My parents somewhere have always known the fact that some day their kids would go to discover new avenues and leave them, and I as a kid never realized that some day I would build my own nest, leaving them behind. But my parents always knew that, “There are two gifts we should give our children: One is Roots, and the other is Wings”

But for me home is still where my parents are!

Image source: empty nest by Shutterstock.

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