Why Do I Need To Be Married To Be Settled?

Why does a woman have to be married to be settled? What is wrong in being an unmarried woman having a fulfilling life?

Two years ago all I wanted was to be married and settled. Yes, settled. The “me” of then really thought settled meant husband and babies.

Alas, I refused to be part of the charade – well needless to say was rejected, or better to say I was considered an outcast from my society, as I refused to agree to paying a dowry. Who gets married without dowry that too to an NRI groom?

It was heartbreaking at first. I was torn between desire to be a good daughter and sister, and to be myself. There is a social taboo that says if the elder sister is unmarried, the younger sister will find difficult in getting hitched.

And oh before I forget, let me say that I am supposed to live in the era of feminism. I am supposed to live in the era of free speech and gender equality. I am supposed to live in a modern friendly society!

Let me tell you where all this is leading – it all it should have been a pleasant experience for a 30 something me when I recently purchased two bedroom flat.

However I was wrong.

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In a recent Society meeting every one present asked my husband’s name and email id! They wouldn’t believe it when I told them I was unmarried. I had to stress that “I am not married/ NEVER been married!” All the people there were all in the same age group as me; hence not even generation gap issue.

It does not affect me at an emotional level but at an intellectual level, I still find it difficult to understand society’s preoccupation with MARRIAGE!

Life is beautiful these days. Indeed it is true that experiences makes us who we are. From a depressed struggling individual to successful business woman today, I strive hard to seek answers which still haunt me.

What is marriage?

Is it a compulsion or is it a choice?

Is it a safety vault where girls can secure their life?

Is it a license to have sex?

Is it union of two body to become one soul?

Is it being settled ?

Is it permission to procreate?

Is it a guarantee of happiness?

I am not against marriage. I am also not a rebel. I believe in love.

I am thirty something woman. But yes I am woman with dreams. Woman with hopes. Woman with desire. Woman with a heart full of compassion and love.

A woman who is still figuring out the answer to the question when asked, “Why are you still not settled?”

Image source: annoyed and baffled woman by Shutterstock.

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