Do Not Disturb Me! And Other Things You Should Never Say To Your Child

Parenting needs a lot of love and patience. There are some things you should never say to raise a happy and confident child!

Parenting has never been easy, be it in any generation, but presently it is getting tougher as parents nowadays are more busy and often lack the patience required to handle their children.

A child’s mind is extremely delicate and sensitive, and parents should be really careful in dealing with matters concerning their children. It is entirely the parents’ responsibility to raise their child in a manner that help them grow as an individual.

Look at your friend, he is good in everything, why can’t you be like him?

Well, these words are extremely painful and piercing. At a tender age, a child sees the world through his or her parents’ eyes. When he finds that in his parents’ eyes he is not good enough, and they are not happy with his achievements, he begins to lose confidence in himself and feels demotivated.

Every child has its own individuality and they are talented in their own way. A parent’s responsibility is to recognise that talent and help them to develop it further. Always speak kind and motivating words to your child and never compare them to anybody, not even to their own siblings. Love and affection shown towards the child boosts their confidence and creates an environment that helps a child to bloom. Comparisons destroy them!

Let your dad come, he will teach you a lesson.

Mothers in order to discipline their child often say these words to them, unknowingly creating a fearful environment for the child. Maybe at that time, a child may listen to you but if same thing is being repeated again and again than the child becomes resistant to her mother’s words and stops obeying her as he fears only his father.

It can also happen that his fear can become deep rooted, and he remains in a dreadful condition all the time in his father’s presence. Both the situations are not good.

Never miss real stories from India's women.

Register Now

Do not disturb me.

In today’s scenario where both parents are working, it may happen that a child feels ignored. Money and profession is important but not at the cost of your child. Your children should be your first priority, and everything else comes after that.

A parent should have the realisation that a child just need your love and attention, and this can go a long way in nurturing a child and developing a sense of security in him. At times, children want to involve their parents in their made up stories or troubles and seek answers to their curiosity and if they are ignored, and not entertained by their parents seeking their busy schedule, then this can have an adverse psychological impact on the child.

So even if you cannot be available 24×7 for the child, make time for togetherness. Pay attention to the child when he needs it. This makes the bond strong. Trust me!

Don’t cry or I will punish you.

A crying child wants your warmth, your affection and not your harsh words. Some parents always have this tendency of shouting at their child when they cry.

A child cries because he needs help, he wants to point out something to you, or may be he just needs your comfort, your attention. Whenever your child cries, you should cuddle him and console him instead of getting irritated. Closeness evokes a feeling of security among the children and they believe in you, yes!

Let the child feel that you are there for him and nothing can go wrong when you are around. A trust should developed between you and the child, which will make your bonding and your relationship strong. This now-built trust between you and your child at this age, helps the child to connect with you and confide in you forever.

You are good-for-nothing, you are a loser.

Ouchhhh! that hurts like death. It is often seen that when a child is unable to meet his parent’s expectations in terms of academic result or any other competition, then he has to bear the agony of his parents who command that since they are spending so much on him, he should fulfill their expectations.

Parents want to gain an upper hand among their friends, peers and families riding on their child’s performance. It’s not wrong to expect nice performance from your children but strong words like these crushe his self-confidence and he feels dejected. The child can even take drastic measures to escape from the situation or he may become indifferent to you , thus loosening the bond between you and your child.

Be sensitive and compassionate to your child, he needs your motivation to grow. Every child is special and possess some talent, parents should act as a mentor to their child, and help in motivating the child to develop that talent, grow and excel. In your life what society says should not matter, but in what light your child sees you does matter.

To sum up…

• A child’s mind is very vulnerable, soothe him with a pat on the back when he does good, appreciate him with kind words, he will be glad to hear that and encourage him when he looks at you.
• Be his strength, his support system.
• Parents can be a child’s friend, philosopher and guide and also a torch-bearer of their life.
• Parents should develop an understanding of their children’s need, their expectations from their parents and try fulfill those.
• Being careful in dealing with your child will not only foster great relationship among you but will also produce optimistic results.

Remember you are your child’s first hope and you can make a huge difference in his life. It’s ‘you’ who can carve a bright and happy future of you child.

Happy Parenting!

Image source: portrait of a happy family by Shutterstock

Comments