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It’s time to scrap ‘boy colors’ and ‘girl toys’ and raise a gender equal generation. [#WomenOnTheMove]
Gender Neutral Parenting — these three words enclose a range of beliefs and behaviors within different individuals and parents. For some it might simply mean choosing a gender neutral name for their newborn baby whereas for others it might mean saying no to regressive gender cliches like ‘blue is for boys’ and ‘pink is for girls‘.
And then there are some parents who take a step further and refuse to associate their baby with any sex per se. These parents prefer their new-born be addressed just as a ‘baby’ rather than a ‘baby boy’ or a ‘baby girl’. Why? Because the minute we associate a particular ‘sex’ to a baby, knowingly or unknowingly, we start assigning a gender specific prefix to the child like a ‘strong boy’ or a ‘pretty girl‘.
Gender neutrality is not just about finding a gender neutral middle but is about offering a child the option to be whoever they want to be without feeling obliged to choose blue over pink or vice versa. Raising a gender equal generation means encouraging kids to learn and develop more choices and feel comfortable expressing themselves without being held back by what boys or girls “should” or “shouldn’t” do.
Earlier this week, we had our weekly #Womenonthemove chat over at Twitter, and this is what we discussed. (If you’re not yet following Women’s Web on Twitter, do now, and you can come over for the chat too, every Thursday 6-7PM IST).
@womensweb A1. I think less but only slightly lesser; more parents are aware of gender stereotypes but a large portion still Iives in 1900s — Sid (@iwrotethose) July 7, 2016
@womensweb A1. I think less but only slightly lesser; more parents are aware of gender stereotypes but a large portion still Iives in 1900s
— Sid (@iwrotethose) July 7, 2016
@womensweb A1)Cntd. But we still see plenty of parents saying things like pink is for girls and boys don’t cryNever miss real stories from India's women.Register Now — Sid (@iwrotethose) July 7, 2016
@womensweb A1)Cntd. But we still see plenty of parents saying things like pink is for girls and boys don’t cry
@womensweb Definitely more #GenderStereotypes today. Even before birth with what color to shop for — Inderpreet Uppal (@indywrites) July 7, 2016
@womensweb Definitely more #GenderStereotypes today. Even before birth with what color to shop for
— Inderpreet Uppal (@indywrites) July 7, 2016
@womensweb my dad was happy to cook for me,iron my dresses,comb my hair and this was in 80s,made me see work as just work not gendered. — Pooja Sharma Rao (@IAmSufiZen) July 7, 2016
@womensweb my dad was happy to cook for me,iron my dresses,comb my hair and this was in 80s,made me see work as just work not gendered.
— Pooja Sharma Rao (@IAmSufiZen) July 7, 2016
A1, Yes they do…in fact in some ways its more rampant https://t.co/cIHExx0ve4 — reboot (@reboot_network) July 7, 2016
A1, Yes they do…in fact in some ways its more rampant https://t.co/cIHExx0ve4
— reboot (@reboot_network) July 7, 2016
@womensweb I would say similar but more pronounced and in your face now. Earlier used to be family led, now marketing led as well — Aditi Mahale (@aditi_mahale) July 7, 2016
@womensweb I would say similar but more pronounced and in your face now. Earlier used to be family led, now marketing led as well
— Aditi Mahale (@aditi_mahale) July 7, 2016
@womensweb Yes, I agree. It is important to “show, tell and do” the right behavior to teach our kids. #WomanOnTheMove Encourage neutrality — Inderpreet Uppal (@indywrites) July 7, 2016
@womensweb Yes, I agree. It is important to “show, tell and do” the right behavior to teach our kids. #WomanOnTheMove Encourage neutrality
@womensweb A2. You are the example. Make sure you set the right one. Challenge stereotypes. #SAHD for eg 😎 *apologies for the self-plug — Sid (@iwrotethose) July 7, 2016
@womensweb A2. You are the example. Make sure you set the right one. Challenge stereotypes. #SAHD for eg 😎 *apologies for the self-plug
A2. Possible but tough because the ecosystem has tb sensitized,extended family, neighbourhood School #Womenonthemove https://t.co/rWzHBN0vo7 — reboot (@reboot_network) July 7, 2016
A2. Possible but tough because the ecosystem has tb sensitized,extended family, neighbourhood School #Womenonthemove https://t.co/rWzHBN0vo7
A2.Took a while & a lot of convincing for my 10 yr old to wear pink #Womenonthemove https://t.co/rWzHBN0vo7 — reboot (@reboot_network) July 7, 2016
A2.Took a while & a lot of convincing for my 10 yr old to wear pink #Womenonthemove https://t.co/rWzHBN0vo7
@womensweb Sadly, yes. In a mall abroad, was asked by a stranger why I had dressed my 2year old boy in a pink t-shirt! — Priya Mani (@priya_mani_25) July 7, 2016
@womensweb Sadly, yes. In a mall abroad, was asked by a stranger why I had dressed my 2year old boy in a pink t-shirt!
— Priya Mani (@priya_mani_25) July 7, 2016
@womensweb my daughter just 6 then was there with me when I performed my dad’s last rites, now she knows I mean gender equality seriously. — Pooja Sharma Rao (@IAmSufiZen) July 7, 2016
@womensweb my daughter just 6 then was there with me when I performed my dad’s last rites, now she knows I mean gender equality seriously.
@womensweb A2. I try to be gender neutral when gifting. I gifted a pink rabbit to one of my friend’s son 😊 #WomenOnTheMove — Pallavi Kamat (@Pallavisms) July 7, 2016
@womensweb A2. I try to be gender neutral when gifting. I gifted a pink rabbit to one of my friend’s son 😊 #WomenOnTheMove
— Pallavi Kamat (@Pallavisms) July 7, 2016
Yes. To begin with, I never told my son (now 5 yrs old) ‘boys don’t cry’ and ‘only girls play with dolls’ 1/2 https://t.co/atIK0qm3yv — sanghamitra mazumdar (@sanghamitra_m) July 7, 2016
Yes. To begin with, I never told my son (now 5 yrs old) ‘boys don’t cry’ and ‘only girls play with dolls’ 1/2 https://t.co/atIK0qm3yv
— sanghamitra mazumdar (@sanghamitra_m) July 7, 2016
@womensweb …and had a tough time making him unlearn the blue and pink theory 🙂 he now happily flaunts his pink towel, water bottle 2/2 — sanghamitra mazumdar (@sanghamitra_m) July 7, 2016
@womensweb …and had a tough time making him unlearn the blue and pink theory 🙂 he now happily flaunts his pink towel, water bottle 2/2
@womensweb Raising a gender unbiased generation starts by ending traditions that prioritise male over female. — Dads Of Anarchy (@ashokkbanker) July 7, 2016
@womensweb Raising a gender unbiased generation starts by ending traditions that prioritise male over female.
— Dads Of Anarchy (@ashokkbanker) July 7, 2016
@womensweb Raising a gender unbiased generation means ending religious practices that are gender biased or changing them. — Dads Of Anarchy (@ashokkbanker) July 7, 2016
@womensweb Raising a gender unbiased generation means ending religious practices that are gender biased or changing them.
@womensweb Probably as early as the toddler years; say terrible twos or late ones. Kids at that age mirror everything you say and do — Sid (@iwrotethose) July 7, 2016
@womensweb Probably as early as the toddler years; say terrible twos or late ones. Kids at that age mirror everything you say and do
@womensweb A2. Giving my daughter enough trains, cars and toy tool kits to play with. Avoid colour coding. Sports for all. Same game rules — Aditi Mahale (@aditi_mahale) July 7, 2016
@womensweb A2. Giving my daughter enough trains, cars and toy tool kits to play with. Avoid colour coding. Sports for all. Same game rules
@womensweb Who decides these ‘girly’ and ‘boyish’ things? Let them do what they want I say as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone — Sid (@iwrotethose) July 7, 2016
@womensweb Who decides these ‘girly’ and ‘boyish’ things? Let them do what they want I say as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone
@sanghamitra_m Encouraging gender neutral clothing is a big step. Letting girls wear the pants, even literally. @womensweb — Dads Of Anarchy (@ashokkbanker) July 7, 2016
@sanghamitra_m Encouraging gender neutral clothing is a big step. Letting girls wear the pants, even literally. @womensweb
Yes!Make his bed,dusting,tea,maggi, pizza,sandwiches,slice fruit,warm milk,do dishes,serve & heat food!Nextup Sewing https://t.co/19mUsFuhm6 — anupama (@anupamaskapoor) July 7, 2016
Yes!Make his bed,dusting,tea,maggi, pizza,sandwiches,slice fruit,warm milk,do dishes,serve & heat food!Nextup Sewing https://t.co/19mUsFuhm6
— anupama (@anupamaskapoor) July 7, 2016
@womensweb Dignity of work. Teach boys they can do all jobs, there is no “men’s” or “women’s” work. We all share duties. — Dads Of Anarchy (@ashokkbanker) July 7, 2016
@womensweb Dignity of work. Teach boys they can do all jobs, there is no “men’s” or “women’s” work. We all share duties.
@ashokkbanker @sanghamitra_m @womensweb Girls should also be encouraged to participlate in all ‘man’ work — Poornima (@PoornimaL) July 7, 2016
@ashokkbanker @sanghamitra_m @womensweb Girls should also be encouraged to participlate in all ‘man’ work
— Poornima (@PoornimaL) July 7, 2016
@womensweb A5. We should do away with girly or boy stuff. Every child can do whatever s/he wishes without being labelled. #WomenOnTheMove — Pallavi Kamat (@Pallavisms) July 7, 2016
@womensweb A5. We should do away with girly or boy stuff. Every child can do whatever s/he wishes without being labelled. #WomenOnTheMove
@Divine_Shruti @womensweb Thats their job isnt it? It is our choice to smarten up or not. Till we dont, they will win. — Aditi Mahale (@aditi_mahale) July 7, 2016
@Divine_Shruti @womensweb Thats their job isnt it? It is our choice to smarten up or not. Till we dont, they will win.
@womensweb A4. Brands thrive on propagating the stereotype. Else how will they market us a multitude of variants and make monies. 😊 — Aditi Mahale (@aditi_mahale) July 7, 2016
@womensweb A4. Brands thrive on propagating the stereotype. Else how will they market us a multitude of variants and make monies. 😊
@womensweb n not only that consumers n advertisers are just using their customers for their own profit,concern comes at last #WomenOnTheMove — Shruti 🙂 (@Divine_Shruti) July 7, 2016
@womensweb n not only that consumers n advertisers are just using their customers for their own profit,concern comes at last #WomenOnTheMove
— Shruti 🙂 (@Divine_Shruti) July 7, 2016
A4.Yes but the fact that arent keen to play, also reflects how evolved society is #Womenonthemove #Womenonthemove https://t.co/SKd97OJooM — reboot (@reboot_network) July 7, 2016
A4.Yes but the fact that arent keen to play, also reflects how evolved society is #Womenonthemove #Womenonthemove https://t.co/SKd97OJooM
@womensweb Brands are making a miniscule effort for gender equality since they are hesitant of losing customers. #WomenOnTheMove — Inderpreet Uppal (@indywrites) July 7, 2016
@womensweb Brands are making a miniscule effort for gender equality since they are hesitant of losing customers. #WomenOnTheMove
@womensweb the real Qn should be ‘Do brands understand the need to break gender stereotypes?’ Without that, it becomes a marketing gimmick — Sid (@iwrotethose) July 7, 2016
@womensweb the real Qn should be ‘Do brands understand the need to break gender stereotypes?’ Without that, it becomes a marketing gimmick
@womensweb yes I agree.Advertising images of superwomen multitasking and women’s bodies used to sell everything are offensive. — Pooja Sharma Rao (@IAmSufiZen) July 7, 2016
@womensweb yes I agree.Advertising images of superwomen multitasking and women’s bodies used to sell everything are offensive.
Very long. Need to embrace UN’s #SDG goals into the Indian fabric completely, attack all together #Womenonthemove https://t.co/19zVgE3CtI — reboot (@reboot_network) July 7, 2016
Very long. Need to embrace UN’s #SDG goals into the Indian fabric completely, attack all together #Womenonthemove https://t.co/19zVgE3CtI
Yes, encouraging boys is more essential since they are the pampered lot. #WomenOnTheMove https://t.co/R3lZgx4nyf — Inderpreet Uppal (@indywrites) July 7, 2016
Yes, encouraging boys is more essential since they are the pampered lot. #WomenOnTheMove https://t.co/R3lZgx4nyf
A5) Standard dialogue here in India ” My parents raised me like a boy” & “She is not my daughter..she is my son” https://t.co/GSXPff81EL — Kunjal Kamdar (@kunjal23) July 7, 2016
A5) Standard dialogue here in India ” My parents raised me like a boy” & “She is not my daughter..she is my son” https://t.co/GSXPff81EL
— Kunjal Kamdar (@kunjal23) July 7, 2016
@womensweb A5. totally. Its we who define “girly”. Why shouldnt SAHFs be as normal as SAHMs someday. Men make better chefs anyways. 😉 — Aditi Mahale (@aditi_mahale) July 7, 2016
@womensweb A5. totally. Its we who define “girly”. Why shouldnt SAHFs be as normal as SAHMs someday. Men make better chefs anyways. 😉
@womensweb @reboot_network A5: yes! Remove stigma over showing emotions, don’t need to be ‘manly’ all the time. — Rupande Mehta (@rupandemehta) July 7, 2016
@womensweb @reboot_network A5: yes! Remove stigma over showing emotions, don’t need to be ‘manly’ all the time.
— Rupande Mehta (@rupandemehta) July 7, 2016
@womensweb Raise all children to recognise gender, race, class and caste stereotypes as evil. No arranged marriages, no forced religion. — Dads Of Anarchy (@ashokkbanker) July 7, 2016
@womensweb Raise all children to recognise gender, race, class and caste stereotypes as evil. No arranged marriages, no forced religion.
@PoornimaL Gender equality is about open attitudes. Stereotyping men as “strong” and women as “helpers” is bias.@sanghamitra_m @womensweb — Dads Of Anarchy (@ashokkbanker) July 7, 2016
@PoornimaL Gender equality is about open attitudes. Stereotyping men as “strong” and women as “helpers” is bias.@sanghamitra_m @womensweb
@womensweb To make gender equality possible, dismantle paternal systems of thought including religion and customs. Start with a clean slate. — Dads Of Anarchy (@ashokkbanker) July 7, 2016
@womensweb To make gender equality possible, dismantle paternal systems of thought including religion and customs. Start with a clean slate.
@womensweb If you want to raise your kids with gender equality, give your daughters control of finances and equal share in inheritances. — Dads Of Anarchy (@ashokkbanker) July 7, 2016
@womensweb If you want to raise your kids with gender equality, give your daughters control of finances and equal share in inheritances.
Image: Children lying down in a circle by Shutterstock
A part time backpacker, an accidental baker, a doting mother, a loving wife, a pampered daughter, an inspired blogger, an amateur photographer read more...
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