Parenting A Toddler? Perils On My Way To The Washroom…

Parenting a toddler is no easy job – one cannot even take the mandatory loo break! My story of getting to the washroom one evening…

With two chirpy toddlers in the house, I have manipulated my body to send me to pee at strategic time slots. It still takes a lot of heart to leave them without an adult around for two whole minutes. But when my boastful master minding of self scheduled pee visits fail me, that walk to the washroom and back is no less than playing kabaddi! Interested in details?

The toddlers broke over a fight for a couple of dolls. (Mind you, same colour, same size and same date of purchase from the same shop at the same time. Can someone please throw light on the non existent reason of that fight?) I somehow managed to make them call a truce. Unlike every other day, I had to pee at this time of the afternoon (Blame the extra glass of buttermilk during lunch!).

While I was unplugging it, I stepped over a pool of water with a mysterious origin. No time to investigate though. I got the mop to wipe it off before any little person decided to take a random sprint.

While I put the mop back, I found a little chair strategically placed in the balcony to catch a glimpse of that barking stray dog any time during the day. I pulled it and banged the balcony door. My voluntary control was only being pushed every single second.

But hey, now what was that noise? Older toddler saw a moth entering from the window. On other days, she is Princess Merida of the movie Brave. That day she had to act like Courage, the cowardly dog. Her screams had no bounds. Younger one was not scared of the moth but she was scared of big sister’s howls. So I marched to drive the innocent creature away. I was almost about to forget the reason why I got up from sofa in the first place.

Demonetisation has affected even those without black money. Hey, hold on. I am still talking about that fateful afternoon when I was holding my pee till eternity. The gas cylinder finally made its appearance after two weeks of booking. The guy wanted ‘cash only’. I dug out every hidden purse of mine to find those seven 100s to pay him off.

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Just as I was closing the door, hubby appeared out of nowhere. He was home to collect some documents. Well, I saw an angel sent by God (Could be an illusion but I saw a halo around him). I love him normally on other days too. But today I loved him even more! He might have been expecting a sweetly surprised reaction from my end. But he saw relief instead. His thought was quickly taken over by the girls merriment of unusually seeing him home.

I raced to the loo without a courteous ‘Hi’/conversation/enquiry/notice/explanation etc. I could sense him staring at that move of mine curiously. But I was back in two minutes straight.

“Hey, what happened?” he questioned.

“I wanted to pee. The entire universe was conspiring against it. But I really wanted to go without any unexplained mini moment mishaps while I was gone. So the universe changed its mind and sent you.” I winked at him.

He chuckled “Again, what happened?” Its been a decade now of him being used to my exaggeration of little things.

With no intention to elaborate, I simply said, “Forget it. Anyway, no one else is ever going to believe that I had so many engagements on my way to the washroom!”

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Published here earlier.

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