A Guide To Have The BEST Valentine’s Day Ever! #SarcasmAlert

V-Day is approaching and this post is for people out there who are struggling for ideas. Worry no more, we’ve got you covered!

It’s not a lot of days for Valentine’s Day to come, and love is in the air, at least where pollution hasn’t spread. I mean, I’m sure you can smell all that petrol and diesel and smoke in the air more than the love, but let’s just pretend, for the sake of this grand event. Imagining red balloons everywhere should help. Pretending to be excited for Valentine’s? CHECK!

Now since you’re pumped up about making it an amazing day, and have decided to participate in this celebration of love, we have some amazing tips for you to make it a day worth remembering.

All red, everything!

Now, now. What is the symbol of love? A heart. What does a heart do? It pumps blood.What colour is blood (in humans, before anyone starts getting offended)? RED! Yes! Zero points for stating the obvious but I’m sure now you understand why you need to wear red, buy red roses (Roses are very important, fill their house with roses if you must) and wrap your gifts in shiny red wrapping paper.

But that’s not all, nope! If you wanna make it a day worth remembering, take the extra step, mon ami! Make sure you only eat red food or dye your hair red or, you know what? Just paint your body red. How can someone even compete with the amount of V-Day spirit that you will exude after doing this?

Out-red everyone out there, yes!

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Find the cheesiest most romantic music you can

What’s V-Day without romantic music full of cheesy lyrics and violins and guitars? I suggest you also get a band of background dancers and break into a fully prepared dance sequence anywhere randomly while you are around your significant other. Your living room, their office, the middle of the road? Everything is fair in love and war!

Additional benefit: it’ll make your partner red with embarrassment so brownie points for that!

Bombard them with perfume and chocolates!

Chocolates and perfumes are something you can never go wrong with. I mean, come on, who doesn’t like chocolates? If your partner doesn’t, maybe it’s a sign that you reconsider your priorities. Just sayin’!

Coming back to the point, buy all the chocolate you see. Shapes, sizes, colors, flavors, and the works. I mean, chocolates have hearts popping out of them so chill out and buy them all. Plain old Ferrero Rocher would also work, but I advise you wrap them in red or make a fancy bouquet of them with lots of useless wrapping. Perfecto! And perfumes? As expensive as you can afford. Literally just google some in your budget and voila!

Expensive things are always nice, it’s science!

Buy all the cards!

Handmade cards/handwritten notes? Pfffft. They listen to you talk all the time anyway. Give your partner some breathing space and express your love in stock quotes. I suggest you buy every type of card from Archies and shower your significant other with them. Put them all over the house, every place that they use regularly, just flood them with cards.

Love should look like it’s in the air, right?

Fancy dinner date, for the win!

I’m not even sure if I should be stating this but Valentine’s Day=Fancy Dinner. This is just common sense, you know? Go and eat at the fanciest restaurant you know, among strangers because that’s how it’s supposed to be done. No questions asked. Go broke for the rest of the month and eat only salad, if you must, but take your loved one to a fancy restaurant this Valentine’s Day since this is clearly something that has never happened before.

I’m sure your partner would feel so much love towards you, they’d burst.

Quick tip: if you’re late to the party, just go to your nearest Archies store and buy everything red, peppered with hearts and glitter, which says the word love. Classic V-day!

So that’s all from us, but if there’s any tip you think we missed, do let us know below! Happy Valentine’s Day!

Image Source: Unsplash

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