“If I Can Learn To Laugh At Myself A Little, Perhaps Others Can Too”: Mira Saraf, Author Of The Month, June 2018

Mira Saraf writes with candour and insight on her experiences, whether it is with setting up home as a single woman or dating toxic men. She believes in the power of writing to start a conversation around important issues.

Women’s Web is powered by an incredible community of (now) 3000 contributors, who bring their experiences, views and knowledge to share with others in the community. Every month, we recognise three of them as the Authors of the Month. This June 2018, Mira Saraf is one of our three Featured Authors of the Month. You can find Mira’s writing here at Women’s Web, and also at her own blog, Scribblemarks.

Authors are often asked this question, but everyone has their own reasons, very personal to them. So, why do you write?

Forums like Women’s Web have also become a great way for us writers to connect with others over similar or shared experiences. There’s no better feeling than knowing that something you went through and struggled with, resonates with others, and it somehow makes you feel less alone in the challenges you must overcome in your day-to-day existence. Sometimes you can bring fresh perspectives to something negative – for example, learning to laugh at your incredibly bad luck, rather than letting it get you down.

If I can learn to laugh at myself a little bit, perhaps others can as well, and we’d overall be a bit happier as a society.

What do you enjoy reading? Does any of it help your writing?

I enjoy reading almost everything except romance. I’m more of a fiction junkie than non-fiction but I do read a bit of both. Reading is an escape for me – a chance to get out of the real world. As a kid I would read lots of murder mysteries and horror, but as an adult, I’ve become a bit more varied in my selection. I have also started to enjoy science-fiction and fantasy when it is done well. I believe all writers should read – it opens up your perspective to forms of expression and it is inspiring to see and witness powerful story-telling. Most times when I finish a really good book, it reminds me that I have so long to go in my craft so I had better start practicing! (haha!)

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When it comes to writing on/for/about women, what questions and issues drive you the most?

I think issues of gender identity are something that are still so much a focus today, and as we progress from our previous caveman-esque (is this a word or did I make that up?) mentalities, they become more nuanced and subtle. We are starting to move past very traditional attitudes towards gender which is a really good thing! But we still have more challenges, and I really think we need to focus on conversations and negotiation rather than pointing fingers.

When we start blaming, we just end up making everyone defensive and that stops the dialogue. When this happens, it hinders openness to learning and awareness, and figuring out ways we can truly work towards equality. The onus is on both men and women to make these changes, but we need to talk about it and make sure we are achieving something productive.

Could you narrate an issue or incident in your life which you think was gender related, and you handled it in a way that has made you proud.

After a harrowing experience with a married business contact I learned that in certain fields of work, the people that we as women interact with, can overstep boundaries. In the previous case this individual, a father of three, decided we had a special connection and messaged incessantly to the point of hysteria, and I finally was forced to block him. Following this, I had another contact request that we become friends.

These are things that do not generally happen to my male colleagues, and I refused him politely but bluntly enough that he would understand I was serious. Up until then I was worried about hurting someone’s feelings, but I realized that in some situations you just have to be extremely straightforward – and that spares everyone a lot of trouble.

What are the things you would like to write about in the future for Women’s Web?

I would love to keep sharing personal anecdotes: both humorous and serious, and be able to share parts of my life and experiences that have taught me lessons. In addition, I’d also like to do more travel writing (which means I have to start taking vacation days to, well, travel!).

I think discovery and learnings from new places is definitely writing that I enjoy – and it would be amazing to do it on this platform. I’m really thankful to Women’s Web for giving me a platform to share all my silly little ideas about life!

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