“How Old Are You?” Will You Answer This, Ladies? This Twitter Thread Reveals A Lot!

A popular stereotype about women is that they don’t like to reveal their age, but is that true? Or is it sexism and ageism that make them think twice about answering?

“Don’t ask a woman her age and a man his salary,” goes popular wisdom. Salary, I get – it is a deeply personal question whether to a man or a woman, but I have never seen much point in hiding one’s age.

Which is why this discussion on Twitter, initiated by Sunetra Choudhary (National Political Editor for The Hindustan Times) caught my eye.

Nidhi Razdan of NDTV replied, “I think there’s nothing wrong with saying how old you are. These are old fashioned notions – don’t ask a woman her age. Why? Why are women expected to be permanently ”young”?”

I think there’s nothing wrong with saying how old you are. These are old fashioned notions – don’t ask a woman her age. Why? Why are women expected to be permanently ”young”?

— Nidhi Razdan (@Nidhi) June 7, 2019

Never miss real stories from India's women.

Register Now

When a troll asked her to share her age, she did that too, with a dose of snarkiness.

I am 42 years old. How old are you? 12? https://t.co/ARWZJAEGSr

— Nidhi Razdan (@Nidhi) June 7, 2019

An answer that was retweeted by feminists like Kiran Manral, a popular blogger and author of books like Karmickids, The Reluctant Detectives, and more,

I'm 48, and say the forties have been the best decade of my life. Bring the fifties on. https://t.co/zrZ98baxIH

— Kiran Manral (@KiranManral) June 7, 2019

and Karuna Nandy, firebrand Supreme Court lawyer who has also worked at the UN.

I'm 43, and in the best time of my life. https://t.co/8GXTZOJfbu

— Karuna Nundy (@karunanundy) June 7, 2019

“A woman’s worth measured by her youth”

Other users pointed out that sexist and patriarchal beliefs do have a big role in perpetuating stereotypes about women and age (and men and salary).

https://twitter.com/pythpiper/status/1136913613883674627

In a patriarchal society, a woman’s worth is often measured by her youth.

“Marriageable age”

Many women pointed out that, sharing their age openly often led to unwanted consequences. In personal settings, it leads to intrusive questions about marriage and children (which men are often exempted from, irrespective of age!)

The next question is: are you married? Oh, do you have kids? (If not) why?!!! Men are seldom asked these questions.

— vijaita singh (@vijaita) June 7, 2019

and other unwelcome attention.

none of his business, trust me. once you tell them, most people go on to give unsolicited advice, make passes, suggest life changes you never asked for and so on. NONE of his business. if you really want to cut him short, shoot back "as old as your daughter, unkel"

— prabha jagannathan (@prabha_j) June 7, 2019

Combination of sexism & ageism at work

In professional settings, sharing one’s age invites not only sexism, but also ageism.

https://twitter.com/A2D2_/status/1136898328816340992

One user pointed out that she had lost projects because clients wanted to work only with someone under 30.

While I have nothing against sharing my age, it has often been used against me. I lost a few projects cause the brand wanted to work with someone under 30. Ageism is real and age based prejudice is real in most industries.

— Amena (@Fashionopolis) June 7, 2019

Pallavi Ghosh of News18 agreed, saying that organizations have double standards wherein older men are valued for their experience, but older women are not hired.

Thing is most of them want young women when they want to hire them ..but when it comes to men they want experience which they say comes with age .. double standards much ?

— pallavi ghosh (@_pallavighosh) June 7, 2019

Equations with co-workers are also adversely affected.

Completely understand your hesitation. I've had a senior at work completely & visibly change (for the worse) how we interacted after finding out how much younger than him I was.
Have now started prefacing the reply with a polite "Does it matter?", before sharing my age.

— Pujarini (@pujarini_sen) June 7, 2019

“It’s personal”

For others, who believed in aging gracefully, it was still too personal a question to ask, irrespective of gender.

Agree no point in hiding age, aging with grace is beautiful and natural.
Having said this, irrespective of gender, age is a personal information, I do not expect people asking my age, without any real reason (like for processing any application form, admission etc.).

— Jaini /উজ্জয়িনী/ اجینی (@IchbinUjjaini) June 7, 2019

Older women expected to let go of dreams

One cannot deny that society places many restrictions on women based on their age. They are expected to get married and have children by a certain age, and then at a later age, they are expected to let go of their dreams, ambitions and preferences and “act their age.” Those who don’t live within these “lakshman rekhas” are gossiped about and criticized.

Above this age? You’re an “aunty”

Unfortunately, many women often play along by changing their attire, their habits and their daily activities. They “auntify” themselves, because of the social pressure to do so.

Some women start late, so what has age got to do with it?

Sexism, when it intersects with ageism truly stifles a woman’s potential. That is why it is worth remembering that age is just a number.

Many popular female writers, including greats like Urusla K LeGuin and Arundhati Roy, became debut novelists only after the age of 35. And Shukla Lal, who has recently published her second book, and has two more in the pipeline, published the first one only after she was 80!

Tamae Watanabe became the oldest woman to climb Mount Everest at age 73.

Man Kaur, a 102 year old athlete, won 100m gold at the World Masters Games at Auckland, New Zealand, last year. And who can forget 96 year old Karthyani Amma, who we all cheered for when she scored 98% to top the Kerala literacy exam. These women, and many others, are proof that the advice to “act your age” is a major scam!

Lastly, my favourite tongue in cheek tweet about the age question comes from writer Sukanya Venkatraghavan, who says she is, “5876 years old but I look 42. Hashtag best time of my life. I live in a house made of bones and will eat anyone who asks stupid questions.”

https://twitter.com/suku06/status/1136943360273293312

Image source: Twitter

Comments