The Pleasure Of the Pain Of The Perfect Love

Raghav, a man with whom I was in contact from the last six months, was about to come home to meet my family today. Six months ago, we became friends on Facebook. We had some mutual friends and when I visited his profile, I liked the way he had expressed his word over various social issues. I agreed over almost everything he wrote, and I immediately liked him.

Soon we began to chat and eventually, his phone calls became a routine. His likes, his dislikes, his morality, his habits, his positives, his negatives, now I knew almost everything.

Our friendship grew day by day, minute by minute, and a sort of attraction for him, that had seeded deep inside me in the very first conversation, had begun to flourish and achieve heights.

Three months back, one night, I was talking to him on the phone. I was alone at home that day.

“I hated to chat before you. It was always annoying to keep on typing.” I said.

“Then what made you chat with me for hours?” He queried.

“I like talking to you…..I think you are the one I can spend hours with…..or….I must say…..life with..” I said what I had inside me from months, in a broken voice.

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Surprisingly, he gave no response and diverted the talk to social issues. His ignorance of what I said annoyed me and without discussing further, I ceased the conversation.

Since then, he began to create gaps and my restlessness multiplied every day. My frustration reached the threshold and one day I called him to meet me after office.

He reached the cafe near my office before me.

“Hi,” I said. He smiled in response.

He seemed disturbed and uncomfortable.

I ignored his annoying expressions and directly jumped to the main issue.

“Why are you ignoring me?” I asked straight enough to drag his wandering eye balls towards me. He was now focussed.

“It is not so.” he tried to clarify but his eyes denied to support his words. He looked away.

“I am not a kid that I can’t understand whatever is going on. You are avoiding me since the day I have expressed my feelings for you.”

Tears filled my eyes and my throat choked. I couldn’t speak anymore. This was the first time in my life that someone had given me so much importance and affection, that I had finally made a decision to get married. Before him, I had met many boys. Some wanted to get physical, some wanted to just pass their time and leave, some were not matured enough to understand relationships, and some were just not my type. He was the first in whom I had seen respect for women, attraction towards me, the seriousness of relationships and something that made me love him. And here he was, with no response to my love. This thought ached me inside.

“You deserve better.” Finally, he spoke and broke the silence of many restless minutes.

“How?” I was confused.

“You are a well educated, independent, intelligent, mature woman who deserves all the happiness of the world.” He spoke again.

“That is why I want to be with you Raghav,” I said.

“I am even unable to walk with you. How will I take care of you for the whole life? You don’t deserve a handicapped life partner who cannot give you what you deserve.” He said with his eyes dug in the coffee.

“Is that the reason you are trying to run away!” I exclaimed. He nodded in response.

“You are insulting me now,” I said in aggression.

He looked up shockingly.

“I can never!” He spoke.

“You are Raghav” I interrupted.

“You are insulting my intelligence…my independence.,..my maturity…my values…and what you said …yes…my education.” My pitch had raised now.

“You think that I am that shallow……I love you Raghav…..the way you are” my eyes welled up again. He was quietly looking at me.

“And you think that your physical challenges can frighten me……supporting someone does not need limbs Raghav…and I know you will support me in every phase of my life.”

“I am much afraid of getting married to a person who is handicapped with his thoughts, values, emotions and respect to women.” I continued.

“I will wait for you Raghav…..goodbye…and yes…one more thing…..please allow me to decide with whom I feel happy…you are no one to decide that where I will find happiness.” I stood up and left without looking at him, leaving behind all my hopes.

He said nothing and I did not call him for many days. He took two months to call me back.

“Make me a part of your family…..and I will walk with you all my life…with my outer imperfections…and the inner superiority that made me yours.” He called and said.

All my prayers were finally answered. I not only wanted to convince him to marry me, but to be proud of what he was, and that day I heard that proud in his voice.

I had told my family everything about him and they were all happy that I had finally found the love of my life and had decided to get married.
He is about to reach in sometimes and my heart is beating faster than ever, not because I am nervous but because I am about to see my love reflecting in his eyes.

Image via Pixabay

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