A Review Of Social Media In Vaikunth!

Trimurti, the three powerful men, are extremely busy these days. In their last quarterly review meeting about Earth and its beings, Nerd had made an important finding. The detective-secretary had shared that lately, the lesser mortals were in immense awe of social media world, a by-product of a monster called technology. Nerd had even shared the possibility of an imminent threat that the lesser mortals may soon be consumed totally by the hooks of this new world to the extent of forgetting the real world.

With their panic buttons pressed, the three gentlemen, Createrbizman(CM), Lifebizman(LM) and Destructorbizman(DM) decided to take up the task of understanding social media and its nuances.

Today was the first project review meeting, and the three men were present with their gadgets!

His handset beeped multiple times – Mazebook notifications!

Touching the screen with his first finger, he smiled – “It’s the birthday of Mrs K from Delhi. Mr K is very busy. Not in arranging for a party amongst family and friends or choosing a perfect gift for her but guess what, in posting Mazebook Posts. How hard he has worked to ensure a perfect choice of words blended in beautiful sentences. Those just perfect pictures of Mrs K that would leave everyone seeing his Mazebook post say “wow” and earn maximum comments and likes! You see- Mrs K did the same for him on his birthday, so he needs to reciprocate!”

Lifebizman(LM) who is enjoying this trial of social media interrupts – “Isn’t that fab? Not just Mr K but the entire K family – in-laws, brothers, and even children are doing the same. Look there is this post from her MIL and then FIL and now SIL. Wow, lucky girl! So much love from everyone. Each one is wishing the birthday girl in their posts and also commenting on each others’ post! How cool is that! I strongly recommend having a version of Mazebook installed for all Heaven Gods too!”

That’s enough for DestructurBizman(DM). He bursts with anger, “That’s show off! We know that the MIL and SIL are always bitching about their DIL in the real world. They haven’t even wished her in person.”

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With utter disappointment, he pulls out a nicely collated excel print out. “The numbers say it all. The social media show off and overflow of love in the “mithya world” is becoming the leading cause of an increasing number of cases of depression and anxiety amongst lesser mortals!”

His phone beeps. It’s a Mazebook notification .”You have to see this. Pummy from Bhatinda is flaunting her pictures and this time of her vacation in Las Vegas! Her fourth international trip this year!”

DM flashes Pummy’s pictures and Mazebook post in front of everyone.

“And ever since she has done that, she has been refreshing her notifications counting loves and likes and commenting on every single “Nice” and “Good” from her friends.”

He goes on,  “Pummy will flaunt these likes, loves and comments in her next kitty party. Her best friend Summy who just clicked ‘Like’ is actually on the verge of a heart attack. The pressure of not being able to project, that’s killing her”

DM then picks up his trident and shouts, “This show off has no end. It will rob the lesser mortals off their peace of mind and simplicity, taking them away from the beauty of the real world. “Pralaya, Pralaya”

Watching his fury, CM tries to divert –

“Ok gentlemen! what is the deal about the other one – what do you call it – blue birdie – Bitter? – Two hundred eighty characters and that’s it? Isn’t that less for lesser mortals always ready to pour their heart out!”

LM smiles. He seems to have got the hack of it also. With a certain smugness, he replies – “Brevity is the Beauty is The Bitter. CM, and you better not underestimate the power of Bitter bytes – you can even have the head of the states respond and take action if those words are for a cause. It’s instant and impactful! You remember how the Apsaras were scared to complain about Rain God’s pranks on them – they could have just bittered you instead and sorted!”

DM intervenes immediately, “I want to make a point here about what-a-vella app. People wake up looking at it, sleep with it. They are exchanging pictures, videos, statuses and whatnot throughout the day. The irony is that children wish their parents birthdays, anniversary or festivals using what-a-vella instead of in-person even when they are in the next room only!”

Ready with some data again, he shares two excel sheets – “First is the List of couples in metros and second is the List of grandparents in metros. Both claim they don’t have time for exercise, children and even for each other. Enamoured by this new found love, they are delegating their responsibility to aayas and maids. Pralaya Pralaya.”

Just then, Nerd, the detective joins them. As if the already existing hooks weren’t enough, he has got news about a few more. “Gentlemen! Please install Short chat, Quickgram and Selfie-magic on your gadgets! I have added them to the list of ‘To be Evaluated’ ”

Burdened with the new assignment, CM looks at his watch. The meeting seems to have overshot the stipulated time. He advises Nerd to have their phones updated with the latest apps. He puts down the MoM –

Social media has smitten the lesser mortals and fancies them more than the real world. Time being fluid here and currencies of love, likes, and shares are exchanged in a tit-for-tat manner. It is like a parasite for some, catharsis for others, a great time-pass and a time killer for an already time-starved generation. The hooks of this new world are increasingly consuming the lesser mortals. Parents don’t have time for children, grandparents for their grandchildren – but they are all sincere to their obligations to the social media world. I am still analysing the pros and cons. LM is enjoying this new exposure, and DM has already made his verdict – Social media will be the harbinger of Pralaya for the lesser mortals!

Till the next program review meeting with more observations and thoughts about this new age problem, its sign off from the Vaikunth conference room! May the lesser mortals help themselves in the meantime!

Image via Unsplash

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