A Poem For Him

I hope someday that he will see how much I want him. I hope someday, we will have that destination wedding.
But till then, I’ll keep thinking.
Because all I have is hope.

Even when he says the simplest of things, my heart skips a beat.
Even when he is unromantic, my hormones rage just thinking of him.
That feeling of numbness in my body when he’s around me and that intense heat in my heart when he talks to me.
These emotions are so intense, yet I can’t admit them for fear of losing him. What to make of it?
How to make sense of the fact that I think of him every night before falling asleep?
That I imagine our wedding whenever I daydream?
I wish he knew, and I wish I could tell him, but I am so afraid.
Afraid of rejection, of losing and friend and most importantly, of losing him from my life.
I don’t know whether this is love or infatuation, and frankly, it has me concerned.
Yes, I am obsessed, but he’s given me a good reason.
He took care of me when I was alone. He scolded me when I made mistakes.
He taught me, fought with me and gave my life purpose.
He made me feel special and loved and now He is a hundred miles away and it kills me.
It hurts knowing that only I feel this way, and it hurts knowing that he will never know.
How to make sense of this and how to move on? These are questions I think about,
But answers? There are none.
I hope someday that he will see how much I want him. I hope someday, we will have that destination wedding.
But till then, I’ll keep thinking.
Because all I have is hope.

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