‘I Am Not Fine But A Hug Will Help’ Saying This Is Helping Me Get Through The Lockdown

The lockdown is forcing everyone to stay in their homes and while tinged with the some anxiety, talking to partners and or even plants is helpful.

In the first week of my self isolation, I was concerned about not being able to go out, buy plants, and about my year’s travel plans turning into a lump. I was worried about the crashing economy, job market being affected. And I worried about not having enough food in the house, I was obsessed with washing my hands more than necessary.

There are a number of memes being circulated about how everyone will put on weight by the time the lockdown ends. And some more about how women will come out with unwanted hair growth all over their faces and about hairstyles gone wild.

How to keep yourself sane during this self-isolation?

Yesterday, I had a video conference call with five strangers to show support and solidarity in these tough times. I realised we all have different things to look forward to when all this is over.

The person who organised the call is doing so to give herself an anchor in these turbulent times. Connecting people and helping them is keeping her sane.

There was this another young girl whose college final year was over within a night. The college authorities made an announcement and next day the students were booking flights to come back home.

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It reminded me of my college days. I was reminded of how we made use of every single moment- to spend time with our friends, to do things together. And it reminded me of how we tried to create as many memories as we could. I realised how, for this young girl, the best days of her life came to an abrupt end.

There was a writer on the call as well. She stayed alone and wrote and read to keep herself happy. And there was another woman, looking forward to meet her lover when all this was over.

We need to ask things and ask FOR things too

After the call, I asked my husband if he was happy and if he was doing fine. Sometimes, we forget to ask our own families how they’re doing, we assume that they’re all well. But that necessarily isn’t true. And so, I asked him.

He looked at me and told me that he wasn’t happy and we hugged for a few minutes. The hug, felt really good. Sometimes, we share a thousand things and yet hesitate to seek help when we need it.

I find it difficult to ask for help. Being the kind of person that I am, I just assume that the person should know what I want. But, that’s just absurd. This self isolation taught me to extend my hand to seek help. It is so easy to ask. And, there are so many people willing to help us.

Sometimes we bottle up our feelings assuming we can deal with it. My husband is like that. He will tell me million things. But rarely, does he tell me what is bothering him. He worries for both of us. So, I told him that’s not necessary. I told him to open up and share and tell me whenever he needed a hug. Sometimes it is easier to deal with things when we share them.

This self isolation has also taught me to create a home where you can be positive and happy. We dream of escaping our lives and go on vacations, but at time like this when you can’t go outside, your home is your ultimate heaven. Why don’t we aim to make it warm and peaceful?

I have started loving my home more

I have this new found love and gratitude for my home. Every morning, the sun peeks into my bedroom and wakes me up, I love that. I love how my apartment becomes roomy and airy when I open all the windows.

During the day, some times, I hear music coming from somewhere and that soothes me. Sometimes I sit by my bedroom window and look at the three kids who live downstairs. They have a backyard garden and they spend every minute outside. I feel so thankful for their shrieks and laughter. Watching them rolling in the grass and basking in the warm spring sun makes me happy.

Yesterday, I waved at them and they waved back. When this is all over I am planning to play with them in the garden. And I am planning to connect with as many people as I can, to celebrate the fact that we were in this together. When this is all over, I am planning to start over.

Nature is flourishing too

I am also loving the late sunsets these days. They look like a concoction of our collective emotions. Dreams of healing. Hopes of a better tomorrow. Desperation of a life without restrictions. Its colours remind me of our varied moods and desires.

I am spending more time with my plants, talking and tending to them. A few of them are pushing out new leaves. The tree in front of my building is in full bloom with pale white flowers. And the flower seeds I planted three weeks ago in the porch have started to shoot out tiny little plants.

The birds are chirping away without a care in the world. I saw a bee, the other day, trying to come in through the window. Its humming sound and bee dance brought in a little bit of nature in our home.

And, perhaps our human breath and conversations gave it a solace that we are still here, just a little isolated and still. When entire mankind is forced into a stillness, nature is still flourishing. And, we are learning to lean into each other to heal.

Picture credits: Pexels

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