Dear Unborn Daughter, As Your Mom, I’ll Be A Bit Much At Times But I Will Also Be There For You

As you grow up, you will realise that no one can be your best friend except your mom. She is the one who can never betray you even during the hardest times.

I know you haven’t still entered this wonderful world, but before you enter I wanted you to tell you some things. You need to know that I will walk with you every step of the way- right from the time you’re a toddler to when you become a woman, a wife and a daughter-in-law.

However, there will be days, when you will have to learn to walk on your own. While I will always let you lean on me, you will have to learn to have the strength to carry things on your own shoulders, some times alone. 

Days will pass and you will turn into the prettiest college girl. But puberty and bad hormones will hit you. Then you will wonder why mom hates me so much, why does she nag me so much.

You will wonder why doesn’t she allow me to party all night or let me go to the pyjama party. There will be times when you will hate your mom the most. And your friends will be the best for you because they planned that Goa trip with you that your parents denied. But remember, I will always prioritise your safety. 

My words will make sense, one day

As you grow up and turn into a woman, the people and society won’t accept you for being bold and assertive. But you need to learn to be independent and overcome criticism. You need to believe in yourself and in your creator.

At 22, my words will start making sense to you. You will realise that the day you scored well, got placed in job, received the first salary, none of your closest friends were as happy as your mom was. And you will realise that no one can be your best friend except your mom. She is the one who can never betray you even during the hardest times.

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I know that at times you will tell your friends how mom is too good and at times how I scolded you about stupid things. Maybe you will make fun of me with your friends at 25, but will eventually follow my advice. And remember this mom scolds with logic because she has seen life and met people more than you.

I also know that at 26, the guy seeing you as his bride will make you feel like one day with a bouquet of roses that no one can love you more than he does. But tell him that no one can love you more than your dad who also keeps your maa at second on the list after you were born.

I will be a bit much but I will also be there

At every age I will keep telling you to be cautious about the males around, you know why? Because it is a cruel world where he can destroy your self esteem and your body, in a blink.

I know sometimes I will be too much, from telling you to wake up on time, and not eating pizzas but greens, to brush at night, to pee before leaving the house, not to wear a western but a traditional dress. But in the end, I will be your best friend to play dress up, to take selfies, to loiter at the nearest mall because you wanted to have pizza, to laugh, to hug you when you cry without ever ditching you.

I may go wrong as a human, but not as a mom

Maybe at times, you will be irritated about my possessive nature hindering your privacy. But do know nothing will go wrong with you if you follow my instructions in life. I know I am a human that I can go wrong at times, but before this, I am your mom, so my intentions won’t ever be impure for you. You know why? Because the first time I held you in arms I realised how beautiful it is to be a mother to the prettiest daughter.

I know this letter will make the most sense in your thirties when you will be a mother, clasping your daughter in your arms, you will be a mother like your mother.

In the end, just want you to show us your love because one day we will be gone. And at 50, you will tell your kids how much we loved you and how much you loved us but never let us know.

A version of this was earlier published here.

Picture credits: Still from Bollywood movie Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

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