Frustrated Yet Smiling

Mrs. and Mr.Smith are in a ‘happy’ marriage for the past five years with a one year old kid. However, while Mrs.Smith is ‘frustrated yet smiling’, Mr.Smith is clueless of the state of mind of his wife. I’ll tell you why.

Mr.Smith seemed to be a very promising parent when he told Mrs.Smith about his wish to have a child. Now that they have a baby, Mr.Smith is no where in the scene of caregiving. The five days of paternity leave went off in a jiffy (lucky him) and he was back to doing the ‘most difficult’ task – the task of earning money. Disparity in gender roles at work can affect all humans you see.

One Saturday, Mrs.Smith asked Mr.Smith to change the baby’s diaper. He did it but failed miserably. The baby’s poop paved its way out on the white bedsheet and soon there was poop everywhere. Mrs.Smith discovered that the diaper was put wrong – the front to the back and the back to the front. Next time, she almost asked him to change the diaper but realized she should do it herself. A classic example of gender roles was right in front of her eyes. It was like she was born to change diapers.

After the dinner party, Mr.Smith crossed the sink full of utensils without an urge to wash them. Mrs.Smith, with dark circles and the baby in her hand, pictured herself washing the utensils the next day because her maid was on leave. She understood, her partner was not performing any kind of partnership.

Mrs.Smith caught a cold. She had fever, yet she continued as the caregiver for her baby. Mr.Smith did not acknowledge her illness, maybe because he would be required to substitute. After two days, Mr.Smith was down with a cold. He was stuck in the bed and missing his mom. Mrs.Smith now had two babies to handle. The Unequal parenting came to light. She felt cheated.

Mr.Smith urged Mrs.Smith to call a beautician home and get herself pampered. He assured he would take care of the baby. She called the beautician home. But as the first few strokes of the facial massage were doing the magic, Mr.Smith gave up on the crying baby and handed over the little munchkin to her like it was her job and he was doing her a favour. Mrs.Smith sat with the baby on her lap while getting her facial done. She was exhausted like never before. Another bias gender role was displayed by her Incorrigible husband.

Mrs.Smith gradually discovered that Mr.Smith was deaf. He was deaf infront of the idiot box and was deaf when she would talk. He wasn’t dumb though. He would ask her to serve him fries, answer the door bell, get him cups of tea, serve him his lunch etc. This stirred her soul within. A classic example of how the father of her child treats her was displayed without anything censored.

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Mrs.Smith chooses not to have a useless talk with Mr.Smith about how she felt. She couldn’t make a mountain move she thought. So, Mr.Smith still remains clueless while Mrs.Smith vents all her emotions in the mommies club that she has joined. Despite the gender inequality, she is ‘frustrated yet smiling’.

First published here.

Image is a still from the movie Dil Ka Rishta

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