Showering Is Overrated & 19 Other Hilarious Pandemic Lessons From A Bored Housewife

We’re all locked into our homes (even if metaphorically) now, and a little humour goes a long way – here are some pandemic lessons from a bored housewife.

Yes, first up, I agree that I’m a bored housewife, political correctness notwithstanding. And I have been coping just like most other similar housewives during this pandemic.

I did, however, learn some new things, mostly about myself and those around me.

~ You can make bread, pav, burger, even pizza at home, without ‘maida’- BUT you can’t make eggs! If you’re out, you’re out. (Note to self: always add the word ‘eggless’ to google search BEFORE I finalise a recipe and start mixing the flour).

~ I am crazier than I thought.

~ Good electricity supply and internet speed can save sanity (and prevent crimes of passion).

~ Two kids is better than one bored, whiny, clingy, and did I say bored, kid.

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~ I am way crazier than previously believed.

~ Showering is pretty low on humankind’s priority list

~ You can never be too grateful for a maid (or any type of household help).

~ Offices are overrated.

~ Executives, even high-flying, aggressive, sales types, are just soft balls of goo when they stare death from a binocular.

~ Hitherto timid housewives are just fearless superheroes in disguise (proof: look at them go lion-heartedly straight into the storm. From grocer to fruit vendor to vegetable guy. Picking chocolate spread, hapus, and freshest greens for their family during a pandemic! While the men cower in front of their laptops, headphones on, avoiding all eye contact, to escape the refilling duty).

~ Amitabh Bachhan films were right all along. Happy poor people who work their behinds off all day, then dance cheerfully at night? Totally! Maidless and overworked, my neighbours are playing music and dancing, come nightfall.

~ Maidless is a word- with very specific and graphic connotations.

~ Maidless in Delhi would be a blockbuster film. More than Sleepless in Seattle and Maid in Manhattan combined.

~ It takes two to tango (ok I knew that already)

~ It is pretty easy to forget if something was yesterday or the day before, during a lockdown.

~ When people don’t have to go dress up and go out, the ‘no make-up’ is metaphorical too. Five weeks of being in each others face 24/7 and you see – Condition: As Is.

~ God help newly weds in the ‘impressing each other’ phase of the relationship. The ugly becoming visible so soon!

~ Doctors, other medical staff and police are underrated.

~ Schools are definitely overrated. My kids haven’t been to one in over a month and they are growing up and blossoming just fine.

~ If you’re still reading, chances are you are quite crazy too. And that’s cool. We should probably grab a coffee once this is done and dusted.

Image source: a still from the film Tumhari Sulu

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