Since Feminism Isn’t Male Bashing Stop Saying ‘Not All Men’ Every Time You Hear The Word ‘Feminism’!

Feminism was never about male bashing, it was always about equality and empowerment. So can we quit throwing #NotAllMen at the feminists?

Okay this particular topic is so wholly sensitive that even while talking about it you should know that some are not gonna like it at all. Some are actually gonna like if they truly relate to your words. They will like it if they’re like minded people and could read in between every line. At the same time, it might violate certain perspectives or thoughts, but that shouldn’t mean you don’t speak at all.

Now that we’re surrounded with some 50 hashtags, each carrying its significance, one topic that never seems to get old yet controversial is ‘Feminism.’

What do you think feminism is?

To begin with, those who think feminism typically symbolises the colour pink, and ‘blindly’ protects women of ‘whatsoever,’ no, it doesn’t! That’s not what feminism calls for. The true gravity doesn’t rely on how you take it or conduct yourself while talking about a particular title, an institution or organisation. Also, feminism nowhere mentions that it ‘blindly’ hates men. No, none of that.

Feminism, in authentic sense, is uplifting the other women in every genuine way possible. We’re supposed to empower each other in need but nowhere is it mentioned that the empowerment of women can only be possible if we rightly oppress the men.

Feminism stands for uplifting women. We all know, despite the evolution, the speed of the change in looking at, considering, and respecting women, and their position so bloody slow! No longer, do we hold that patience to wait for the entire world to change. Clearly we can’t.

With so much happening, with so many people exploiting this word, translating it in their own language, one can actually get confused about what feminism is. One might start generalising it and that’s exactly where the clash takes place.

Never miss real stories from India's women.

Register Now

Does the negativity erase all that women have suffered?

I don’t know about everyone, but I’m pretty sure many women are already aware of this imbalanced ratio. The one where a certain portion marks the kinds of women who have been taking advantage of every possible law introduced to protect us.

There resides a section of women who have been oppressing the men. But this fact, it doesn’t cover up what a majority of women have actually brutally faced till date.

We are breathing in a society filled with filthy minded, judgemental, men, in a world with plenty of rapists and sexists who constantly keep an eye on us. But we cannot deny, do not deny the men who are truly admirable and could be relied on.

As far as my basic knowledge is concerned, feminism never promoted ‘#AllMenAreTheSame’ or ‘#HateMen.’ This is because we know that we’ll be extremely disrespectful towards every legitimate man out there.

I’m blessed with a wonderful father, an amazing brother-in-law, I had a really good boyfriend, and some incredible male friends. At times, I might blabber that ‘yeah you men are like this only,’ but I cannot even believe that all men are same.

Every feminist may have different beliefs but none of them are wrong

Feminism is not what people keep taunting about on a regular basis. Dominating and intimidating is neither synonymous to women power nor girl power. We all know that. You might have met feminists who follow certain beliefs of feminism, but on the basis of that, you simply cannot generalise the entire meaning and movement.

There are feminist men too, because they understand the crux. These men understand that nothing about them can change in a female’s presence. Whether you agree, or not,  it is true.

Though I am a feminist, I don’t keep talking about it for the sake of hundred other people to know. I’m a feminist for the women who are made to be quiet even after constant torture and brutality.

A feminist for the women who aren’t allowed to choose a good life partner because of her background. One for the women who are time and again reminded of their average looks, shape and complexion.

I am a feminist for a lot of reasons

A feminist for the women who failed to give birth just because she was carrying a baby girl. For the women considered as nothing but that useful doll you can keep having sex with. A feminist for the women who take a step back while shopping because they’re forced to shop according to what people will say rather than what they want.

I am a feminist for every housewife who doesn’t get appreciated for her unpaid sacrifices for every member of the family. For every daughter compared to a son and never appreciated, for every daughter who gets raped by her very own father. I am a feminist for some women and men who think feminism is entirely made up, dramatic, and holds no weight.

But let me tell you, feminism neither asks a man to pay the cheque at the restaurant nor asks the woman to pay it all. It’s all about splitting equally without any hesitation. Feminists know that they might just have to end up dropping a man back home if he’s running late. Feminism calls for an apology if you dare to raise your hand on the opposite gender. Because I can’t remember feminism misguiding women.

If I being a feminist, refuse to stand for a man hitting a girl, then I can equally stand against a woman hitting a guy. Simply because, there is no specific privilege in the book of violence. What is wrong is wrong, whether or not you agree.

It isn’t about being or sounding ‘cool’

Being cool doesn’t depend on your being a feminist or not. It is all about being true to yourself, doing justice to what people are fighting for. It is never about sounding cool, showing off or pointing a finger.

You are a feminist? Good for you. You’re not a feminist? Good for you. But if you are, I hope you contribute to the meaning instead of just bragging and boasting.

I’m sure there’re many other like-minded feminists, who stand for what is right, and needed. But don’t do so, by degrading the opposite gender because that’s not needed.

We don’t wanna be equal to the men, because we already know we are. I mean what’s there to feel insecure about, to feel inferior about? But what we stand and speak for, is giving this equality a face which is needed. Trust me it’s a constant struggle every passing day!

Before questioning feminism, just ask yourself, why did feminism take birth? What was the need? It isn’t some random word that was trending. The day you’ll realize what forced the birth of feminism, is the day you’ll no longer feel the need to even argue on this.

A version of this was earlier published here. 

Picture credits: Pexels

Comments