Are You Criticising Karnataka Govt’s Provision For Poor Brahmin Brides? Tsk, Tsk!

Karnataka State Government to provide ‘bride price’ for poor Brahmin brides with Arundhati & Maitreyi schemes, but with a few caveats that make us wonder.

In a bewildering bit of news, the Karnataka State Government announced two schemes to be implemented by the Karnataka state government’s Brahmin Development Board, the Arundhati and Maitreyi Schemes.

Under the Arundhati scheme, the state government will provide financial assistance of  ₹25000/- to the family of the Brahmin bride for her marriage to a Brahmin man. And under Maitreyi scheme they will provide ₹3,00,000/- to the bride, provided she marries a priest.

One, the girl has to belong to the economically backward section.

So far so fair. The poor often incur great losses in wedding arrangements of their daughters. In a fit of generosity, the government has decided to help out, let’s not be suspicious all the time, okay?!

Secondly, the bride must belong to a Brahmin family.

Ah. The coin doth droppeth. Did you say Dr. Babasaheb Bhimrao Ambedkar? Why would you do that? That’s so 20th century. Who cares for his principles and ideals? Who cares that he fought all his life for the annihilation of caste, for the rights of women? Get with the program, dude. Endogamy is the name of the game. We cannot breed Brahmin babies without Brahmin wives.

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Thirdly, this must be the woman’s first marriage.

But of course! It’s surprising they didn’t recommend a hymen test. Brahmin brides must be pure at the time of marriage. If they were married before, then they’d have to be divorcees or widows and both varieties are super yucky according to the scriptures.

Lastly, they have to sign a bond that they will stay married to their husbands for a minimum period of 5 years.

Now this is totally fair. Women cannot be trusted, what if they decamp with the money before the suhag raat and before the itty bitty, shiny and superior Brahmin sperm swam up their vaginal canals? What if they decide there is too much domestic violence in this sanskaari marriage and again,  decamp asking for action to be taken on their respective husbands?

That would be so unfair and so typical of women. Unfaithful creatures.

Protests from the opposition? Why?

Predictively, this has elicited strong reactions from the opposition (probably cursing why they didn’t come up with the scheme first).

“Marriage is a personal choice and incentivising certain types of marriages over others is regressive and anti-women,” said YB Srivatsa, the National Campaign Head for Youth wing of Congress. “Why can’t they give loans for Brahmin women entrepreneurs? Why not fund the education of poor Brahmin girls?”

Dude, did you not read the name, ‘Karnataka State Brahmin Development Board’? Did they ever claim to be ‘Karnataka State Brahmin Women Development Board’? They want to buy brides for their, in matrimonial column speak, ‘boys’. They are paying a reasonable price. Priestly boys go for three lakhs, regular but still Brahmin, boys go for 25k. Stop whining.

Why Arundhati Maitreyi schemes?

Did anyone at all ask why the schemes are named thus, Arundhati and Maitreyi?

Because both these Brahmin women were wives of the ‘first Brahmins’, Rishi Vashishtha and Rishi Yajnavalkya.

What were Arundhati and Maitreyi known for, you ask? Well, one vaguely hears that they were both supposed to be scholars, academicians in their own right. But what they are mainly known and venerated for by all Brahmins of this country is for being wives. Exemplary wives. Chaste, loyal, supportive, unquestioning wives.

Why should women aspire to be anything else, right?

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