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It has been a year since Savarna men attacked a young Dalit woman we now know as the Hathras rape and murder victim. 14th September 2020.
Trigger Warning: This deals with rape, gangrape, violence against women and murder, and may be triggering to any survivors.
You must be wondering who I am. No wonder, since many of you must have forgotten.
In a country where nearly 88 girls are raped everyday, how can you remember each one of them?
‘Mere’ rape, even gangrape, is hardly news in our country now; there needs to be something special about the rape for it to even noticed among the daily noise of barbarity. The silence is truly defeaning.
In this challenging environment, there was something about my incident – the Hathras incident that compelled attention.
Yes, I am the Hathras rape victim. You might know the details even if it’s been a year since the worst that could happen, happened to me. The atrocities they committed knew no limits.
No, I am not writing this for your pity. I am at much better place now, far away from those monsters; I don’t have to escape unwanted stares and comments anymore. I feel much safer now rather I feel sorry for all the girls out there. The 6 year old girl who goes to the park and the 60 year old who goes to the temple, the 15 year old who wishes to travel the world and the 25 year old who burns the midnight oil.
I feel pity for all of them as none of them is safe until everyone of them is safe.
I still remember the date, 14th September 2020. It was just another usual day for me. I was sewing clothes for my newborn niece. My amma asked me to accompany her to the fields. I did. And then, what happened still leaves me horror- struck.
Sometimes I still think if I hadn’t gone there, then this never would’ve happened; but then I realise it would’ve happened, just to somebody else.
I couldn’t even speak I tried to push it out of my mind but it was so heavy. I remember how much I hated my body; I didn’t want it, I was terrified of it. I couldn’t live with myself and I quit. On 29th September, I left everyone once and for all. I thought my sufferings were over but the worse was yet to happen.
They say no one should be cremated at night but I was. I was cremated without my family’s consent, hastily and forcefully. My loved ones didn’t even get a chance for final goodbye. Oh! I still wish I could hug my amma for one last time maybe my pain would disappear in her arms. But I was so hapless that I couldn’t. I couldn’t pour my heart out in my amma’s arms.
I didn’t do anything remarkable in my life but I am sure I wasn’t as pathetic human being as I was rendered in my death and even after.
I am writing this for girls. To girls everywhere, I am with you, when you feel alone, when people doubt you, when you feel like you are losing it, I am with you. You’re undoubtedly and unquestionably important, you are beautiful, you are valued, and you are powerful. Never stop fighting against the demons. To girls anywhere and everywhere, I am with you.
Image source: Johannes Plenio on pexels
Avid writer and poet, 1st year law student at National Law Institute University (Bhopal). An admitted aficionado of literature, music and dance because these are what we say alive for. read more...
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