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I watched 2 shows on Netflix on the same topic: Indian Marriage alliances. Marriage being a milestone for Indian women often pressurizes them to settle for less and make choices that are not right for them!
One show was ‘Indian Matchmaking’ that was much talked about for the stereotypes that are attached to Indian arranged marriage alliances. The second one was a documentary titled ‘A Suitable Girl’ that tracks the stories of three women in India as they find a groom and embrace their new lives.
Marriage for women in India is a much-awaited milestone for not only the girl herself but also for her parents and immediate family, her friends and relatives. The clock starts ticking differently depending on one’s background, educational plans and parents’ goals. But the pressure to ‘settle down’ also causes the woman to ‘settle’ for much less than she hoped for. And this could be true for a man as well.
‘You have to compromise’ appear to be wise words in Indian society, much like the famed matchmaker on the television series. It could very well be a fact of life, no denying. But it is also the dangerous symptom of an environment where everyone is telling you what to do while confidently asserting that they know better what is best for you.
In younger days, it is easy to fall prey to these words, only because one’s experience of the world may be limited or one doesn’t know yet that one’s intuition is mostly right. Under the circumstances, parents and friends should do their best to allow for an expansive mindset while an individual is making the most important decision of their lives.
Self-awareness and emotional skills are so rarely taught to us by the Indian education system that we end up confused, swayed by other people’s opinions and afraid to assert ourselves.
We grow up listening to fairy tales, seeing other people’s versions of what fairy tales ought to be and then putting undue pressure on ourselves for realizing the same. Many times, it may be at odds with what we want at that point in time, perhaps a promotion at work, or further studies, or the next big job change, but everything almost always fades in priority to the ‘marriage milestone’.
It will take a generation of young men and women to say ‘no more’.
Image Source: Still from Luka Chuppi
Writing makes me happy, so does expressing my views. I am opinionated, optimistic and interested in influencing a change in mindset. read more...
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