4 Questions Society Asks Women That Reek Of Gender Bias And Shouldn’t Have Place In 2022

In the 21st century, where each necessity is turning out to be digital, where the world is getting shorter with the help of technology, we all are heading towards a progressive world, but are we progressive in the thought process that makes society a better place for women.

This year’s women’s day theme is #BreaktheBias, after more than a century of celebration (1911 to 2021) of International Women’s Day, we all are still standing at the cross path where society is creating gender bias.

If you think you are supporting women by giving them options and freedom to choose, then society at the same time is asking these questions to women, in the process creating a huge gap between gender roles played, and also passing statements that are subtle judgments.

When are you going to settle down in life?

If you think this question is haunting men and making them go nervous to find a job and settle, this question is equally giving shivers to women from an early age. The day a girl completes her graduation, society starts dreaming of “settling her down”, which of course, means getting married.

Stop. A woman should marry only when she is ready and not under the pressure of society to bear the responsibilities unprepared.

When will you have a baby? How will you work/ why do you need to work after having a baby?

As the marriage question was not enough, society keep on pinpointing the woman to bear a child. Judgments are passed if the woman is working, saying that she is being more ambitious in life and not enjoying motherhood.

When a woman decides to take motherhood and career path side by side, again she is being judged for her decision. She is being asked how she will manage home and child. Though a mother is the primary caregiver in the initial months of the child, she is held completely responsible for bringing up the baby.

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A woman is probed for her working hours and her ability to manage home and baby, she is being put under tremendous pressure to outperform herself. The decision to continue a job after motherhood, or taking a break after motherhood, or not taking motherhood is completely her choice. Societal pressures make the woman uncomfortable at social gatherings. Parenting is the responsibility of father and mother so why only the mother is held responsible for child upbringing?

Who looks after home if you go to an office and come late? Do you cook at home as you are working? How do you take care of healthy food if you are working?

This question is often asked by people living around women (neighbors, social circles) also by extended family to find out how she can balance work and home. This question is never ever asked men, how they manage home and work. It is by default considered that woman is the primary caregiver to family and home. Women are being judged for their decision and are assumed that working women will have a messy home. A woman can take help from the people, be it cooking or laundry or cleaning home.

Society judges also devalue women by calculating the amount earned vs the amount spent. They calculate the salaries of cook, maid, and driver and ask the woman what is the point to earn when the equal amount is spent to maintain the home. Here they are disregarding the dream and ambitions of a woman who has dreamt of goals in her career life too.

How do your kids cope-up with their studies if you are not at home?

Child upbringing has been always been conveniently passed on to a woman and the student report cards are also a way to judge the woman. If the child does not perform well and the mother is working then the entire blame is shifted to the mother rather than looking at the scenario for the child.  Society raises a question to mothers and put-forths liability for child studies to women.

These are just a few common questions woman faces each day from known to random people in life. Yes, it is her responsibility if she wishes to own it else not if she does not. Society criticizing women of each fault in the family is not new and in this digital age, it is being continued with these questions and many more on social media too. But have we ever thought about why these questions are directed to woman only?

Why does society ask these questions?

Age-old tradition

Yes, change is happening but still, we need a few more years where people start accepting and respecting the woman’s choice and their perception. Since it is an age-old practice and the fixed mindset towards women; people find it hard to digest and ask these questions as they consider it is their moral duty.

Out of curiosity

Few of them just ask questions out of curiosity or to understand the new age happy functioning home. Be it any reason, asking someone so many personal questions is indecent and demarks the behavior of the questioner.

Easier to question women

Yes, you read it right. It is easier to question a woman about the home, or kids as 99 % of them won’t give them a fitting reply as they do not want to disrespect the person. these questions are directed only towards women whereas men are also equally responsible for the home care and parenting of a child.

Society can be progressive if the mindset of all makes a shift towards the good and look at the person without gender bias.

How can society support women without asking questions?

Being non-judgemental

A society can give peace of mind to the woman by not judging her for her choices. This might seem very little task or a job to do but it can really mean the world to others. Imagine a woman can make her choices without guilt or regret in life, then half of the population will be happier, and the happiness index goes higher.

Be supportive in offering help than asking questions

One can be supportive by offering any help to the woman if she is facing any trouble than blaming her for the circumstances or asking her numerous questions about her multi-tasking day.

By smiling and saying they are doing a great job:

To voice our opinion may be difficult many times, so just give a comforting smile and say have a good day, than asking how do you manage to dress up and go to the office leaving house responsibilities behind is a better choice of the words.

We have listed a few of the common questions posed by society, though many more in-depth questions clearly show how few responsibilities have gender-marked roles and how few tasks are always dedicated to a woman. Thinking about the people and not taking their choice is also wrong, do not fall into the trap of ‘What society will think of my choices’.

We wish each woman ‘Happy Women’s Day and be revered by her choices.

Image source: a still from the film Sherni

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