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As a short, petite woman, 'appearing tall' completely veiled 'standing tall', and my self esteem stooped to an all time low in a year's time.
Trim and slim are words of compliments, but small?
It is not.
I am all of five feet.
Not an inch more or less.
What a strange coincidence!
They say ‘petite’ fits me the best.
I scouted the dictionary to get into the sense…
Yes… got it – small and trim.
So, all my life I stand on the scaffold and people do judge me.
Sad indeed!
How can I be tall, when my mom is less than five feet in height ?
When my friends and acquaintances referred to me as ‘chhoti’, ‘natti’ – I felt like calling them names, yet had to control myself.
After all, we thrive in a society, and ‘log kya kahenge ‘ matters more than ‘hum kya kahenge’.
This ‘log kya kahenge’ remains embedded in our heart and soul to such a degree that we often vie for validation for our actions, even to secure the foundation of our emotions.
The ‘petite’ title drove me mad. My insecurity found a quaint support in high heeled sandals and shoes. More than apparel, I started spending on shoes.
Reason behind – I should look taller and not be judged so often.
I started avoiding any visits to temples and places of worship for the simple reason that I had to take off my shoes. This entailed the loss of acquired height. My chances of being referred to as ‘petite’ one more time, made me sad and whine.
‘Appearing tall’ completely veiled ‘standing tall’, and my self esteem stooped to an all time low in a year’s time.
In a gathering, I started to get the feeling that – everyone around is making fun of my height.
In reality, this was not happening. No one was bothered even.
Why should anyone bother about someone else’s height, when there are a thousand topics to be discussed and dwelt at length!
But my lesser sense always prevailed, making me timid… elbowing me out to my wit’s end.
It is so aptly said- ‘We live in our minds.’
I was making a hell of my own existence – not living even!
Days rolled by… so also months.
Life went on.
My search for a secured job ensued after I completed my studies.
I was sceptical and apprehensive both – before the interview took place. My obsession with height was the mischief monger.
The board had my vital statistics with them.
One of the interviewers jovially put this question-
“What are the advantages of being short?”
I was taken aback… kept mum for a few seconds.
I stretched my memory and imagination to find a suitable answer.
It struck me- mom had told me about so many advantages of being short and I had dismissed them with a heavy dose of angry outburst.
“Tall people have to stoop low when they enter places with low roofs, they cannot adjust in smaller beds, they have to be careful while riding ladders else they may hurt their head.
Above all, they bend in old age and have to depend on walking sticks till the end.”
“Yes…these are advantages.”
The judges were amazed by my quick, crisp and electrifying response.
The one who had asked this question , smiled at me with utter satisfaction.
“Well done gal. You are bustling with positive vibes. Keep it up.”
The simple loving words calmed my senses.I started introspecting and analyzing my behavior.
“Why am I so sorry and sarcastic about my pedigree? Is it worth it? Why can’t I be normal with my physicality ?”
“Let me flaunt myself with the high heels even sans embellishments. Let me live my life to the fullest.”
There has been no looking back since then.
I have owned myself completely with all shortcomings.
They are my advantages now.
Just a change in mindset has spelt such ecstasy and wonder!
Image source: YouTube
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