Why Many Survivors Of Sexual Violence Seem To Freeze And Not React As Expected

Trigger Warning: This deals with rape, gender based violence, extreme reactions to trauma, and may be triggering to survivors.

Why do many victims of sexual violence not react? have you given some real thought to this question?

“If she didn’t scream and didn’t run away, it’s because she wanted it too.”
“Why didn’t she report it earlier?”
“It took her so long to go to the police. Really?”
“Just because I dumped her, she is painting me as an abuser!”

Reaction to sexual abuse is one of ‘freeze’

We react to a threat with one of 4 things – fight, flight, freeze, fawn.

The absence of resistance on the part of a victim of sexual violence is often confused with consent, when it is clearly a ‘freeze’.

It is necessary to clarify that sexual violence is a potentially traumatic experience.

• It poses a threat to the person’s life or safety and is exceptionally dangerous or catastrophic in nature.
• It cannot be compared to, and exceeds in intensity vis-à-vis common intimate experiences.
• The person feels intense fear, despair or horror.
• Most people would feel upset in a similar situation.
• The person feels that they do not have the skills or personal and/or social resources to deal with the situation.

The mind can go blank

Has anyone ever experienced this feeling of momentary blankness when faced with a horrific, unknown situation?

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In the above context, and despite the expectation that victims of violence will fight or flee, many report a feeling of involuntary paralysis. As if they were frozen. And they don’t scream, they don’t move, they don’t fight, and they don’t try to escape. They remain quiet and rigid in the face of the aggressor. “Many victims report a feeling of instinctive paralysis. As if they were frozen.”

On the other hand, many victims of sexual violence could manifest so-called dissociative reactions, when part of their mind or body becomes separated (dissociated) from the consciousness of the person as a whole. When the victim feels very scared and cannot physically escape from a situation, they may dissociate.

• “I stopped feeling my body and felt myself floating in the air, seeing everything from above, as if I were watching a movie.”
• “My mind left there and went to a safer place.”
• “I stopped feeling my body from the waist down.”

These are just a few examples of how victims explain this dissociative process, which turns out to be a defence and survival mechanism. It helps the person deal with the traumatic event. However, these reactions can become especially problematic when they start to occur in response to other events or certain memories. Yes, that happens too. Example: In the case of losing a close person, a certain disconnection with reality may take place.

It is important to emphasise that the reaction to an extreme situation such as sexual violence depends on several variables, and we cannot, therefore, expect it to be the same for all people. Thus, rather than focusing on what the victim “should” or “could” have done, confusing the absence of a fight-or-flight response with informed consent, we must actively listen to the narrative that each victim brings to us, necessarily unique and singular, without value judgments or blame.

And always avoiding asking the ill-fated question, “So, why didn’t you scream or run away?”

Image source: pixabay

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