Let’s Think Out Of The Box About ‘What Women Like’ So Girls Can Dream Of A Better Tomorrow!

‘Think out of the box.’

This is not just a cliché or an advertising slogan. It is a necessary way of thinking. However, I have been recently awestruck at how fiercely independent and well travelled people still tend to stick to stereotypical thinking.

How? Here’s the story.

We often meet to discuss a pitch for a client or basically content, given that we work together. Recently, after a business meeting, we decided to just linger on a few more hours at her office to discuss the scope and moments of the meeting. We generally got to talking about other things and she asked me conversationally.

The topics expected in a women’s magazine

‘So you author for a women’s magazine also?’

‘Yes.’

‘Can I have a look at it?’

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‘Sure,’ I said and gave her the link to my articles on Women’s Web.

While I worked through the business requirements in the cool office, she lounged to read through some of my articles published on the website. She looked immersed. After sometime she looked up at me and asked.

‘But your articles are generic; they’re not just women centred’.

I was taken aback at the weirdness of the question.

‘So what do you expect to find when you read a women’s magazine?’ I asked curious.

‘Well, articles on beauty, relationship troubles, making a change maybe.’

I took a long hard look at this woman who runs a business by herself and for your information who I always looked up to till this moment.

‘Are you serious about your question or are you kidding? If you are kidding we can both laugh at your question and move back to work. If you are serious, can I please have a few more minutes with you dissecting your question?’

‘Will go ahead with the dissection’ she smiled encouragingly.

What girls and women are ‘allowed’ to do

To start with I proceeded to show her articles on Women’s Web that focus on ‘beauty’, ‘relationship troubles’ and about ‘making a change’ in society.

Then I asked her, do you think a woman’s interest revolves just around these things? Did not you go to the Philipines by yourself last year and hike on the island? If I had to write about your experience it would come under women travelling by themselves.

Taking a pleasure trip by herself. How many Indian women do that? There’s no taboo against it and there’s this superficial acceptance of the idea, but given a choice, how many people are there who “allow” their women to take a pleasure trip with a bunch of their girlfriends without questioning it?

You see, many women do not therefore even include a pleasure trip alone in their ‘to do’ bucket list. Why? Because every generation before them thought ‘inside the box’. So when little girls of now have dreams, and thoughts of what they can achieve they do it ‘inside the box’. Heart breaking isn’t it?

Yes, an article written on a women’s tour through Philipines won’t evoke a great head turning response from many readers. But I am sure, there might be women who never thought of something like this. They might suddenly become aware of what they are capable of if they change the pattern of their thinking. This subtle change in one would evoke a subtle change in another and a whole new generation of liberated women might just spring up, and this is how you breakthrough the stereotypes of a society.

Why can’t I dream of something traditionally a ‘men’s interest’?

I have always loved the Enfield bike. Whenever I heard stories of men going on road trips, riding on these lovely bikes, something inside me always looked up with thrill. I too wanted to do that. But can I? There’s no taboo in it. No one would stop me. But would anyone encourage me?

First, the bike itself is so heavy, I do not think I can manage to handle it. But why are Enfields so heavy? Because it is made only for men.

Why? Because women do not like to ride bikes.

Who said so?

The stereotypical inside the box thinking that no one tried to change.

I also wanted to learn the drums and be a drummer when I was in college, but never found a women friendly institute to go to. Also, it was a hard place to break through as it was dominated mostly by men. It was long after when once I went to a mall and watched a live rock show that I was amazed to see that the petite passionate drummer in an ‘all boy’s band’ was a woman. As she bowed down after the show and I saw her, all that came to my mind was ‘This could have been me’.

Why should women’s issues be limited to home and hearth?

If I write an article about my experience, it would not come into a generic issue, but the fact is it is very much a women’s issue as are the other issues. Women are human beings first so why do people forget that?

Yes, my articles do not stick to the strict norms of being a woman maybe. But that’s exactly the point I am trying to make. Women have a complete different dimension to themselves that do not fit ‘inside the box’. You yourself do not fit ‘inside the box’ still I am amazed that you are subconsciously programmed to think ‘inside the box’.

I write to enable women who try to dim their potential to ‘fit into the box’ so that they have the courage to break the box and shine bright with the light of who they are. Self love is a concept foreign to many women. Always serving the family first and sitting down to eat last is the norm. Why? Because no one taught women to love themselves. Self love might not sound very much like a thought provoking women’s issue until the lack of it finds women on the verge of a breakdown. Why wait if I can just write about it and educate a few women. Be it just a handful.

‘Whoa!’ she exclaimed. ‘I never realised my thinking was so flawed! You make sense.’

‘That’s why I write’, I replied.

Image source: a still from Marathi film Jhimma

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