We Need Genuine Connections In Our Lives That Nourish Us, Not Just ‘Contacts’

We take pride in being busy. A person who has the time to smell the flowers, look up at the brilliant night sky or really feel the rains with eyes closed are usually deemed as someone ‘who has nothing better to do.’ How wrong we are!

I fall in the category of the ‘ones who have nothing better to do’. No, really!

When inside my office, I have always looked outside the large windows wishing I was outside watching the sunset or maybe just lying on dew filled grass. But situations in life often take you away from who you really are at your core.

‘Because I love you so much’

And then one day, I just lay down in bed to sleep, with my daughter next to me.

She uninhibitedly put her tiny arms around my neck and snuggled close to fit herself closest to me. In the dim lights of the quiet night, I reciprocated her hug and held her close. I rested my chin on her head breathing in her essence. We spoke of all things from ‘Why dinosaurs roar?’ to ‘How Shaun the sheep can cook?’ and while talking I found a piece of my soul.

The simple act of just hugging my daughter and falling asleep next to her made me realise a hug makes so much sense. I told her ‘I feel so good when I hug you .’

‘Why?’ She asked me her tiny face lit up by the soft light.

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‘Because I love you so much.’

‘Do you feel good when you hug me?’ I asked a little unsure.

‘Yes’, she said.

‘That means you love me too.’ I replied acting surprised.

She nodded her head with a shy smile and we hugged a little tighter just taking in the moment.

I have many times tried to feel good by listening to music, or going to a spa, but trust me nothing can beat a hug. It’s strange how little children can teach us about the basics of being human. Human beings come with the potential to become human, but somewhere while engaging with the world they forget who they are.

Where do we lose this while growing up?

If you observe children, they are not inhibited. They hug the people they love, they hold their best friend’s hands. Sometimes they even pull away a carefree strand of hair from their friend’s face if they see it. These gestures, I find it so beautiful.

Growing up, there are these inhibitions at place. Many a times I have observed a friend would get overwhelmed over something and come over for a random hug, but would just stop awkwardly, unless of course I reciprocated. Sometimes there are those who we meet after a long time, they would rush to meet me but would hesitate before hugging me, just because they are unsure if it’s appropriate.

And I am talking of close friends here. Yes, there’s a well meaning respect in the hesitation before making a physical contact, but there’s also a beauty in another human just removing a carefree strand of hair from their friend’s face without asking.

Relationships are now just confined to emojis. Also, I find it very strange that people at workplace are your besties, until you change office. After that you are just a contact. And I find these relationships so empty. People associate only if they have something to gain from you. What happened to the old fashioned way of being in touch, or maintaining relationships just because you connected? The fact as I learnt is that while I thought people connected, they were actually making connections.

We need real connections – not just ‘contacts’

When people grow up, people focus more on being appropriate than genuine.

That night I realised what I had been missing in my life. Real people with genuine connections. That night as my soul stirred, I held on to the moment, grateful that I was experiencing it.

I always hugged my father. I always held my best friend’s hands. I always hugged people close when I met them after a long time. I was not inhibited. The person mattered more to me than inhibitions.

I am like this because I grew up with people who were like this. Choose Love not profit, help not gain and humane community not selfishness. This is how the world I came from operated. And there were no saints. Just simple human beings. Isn’t this the right way to be?

Really, I would rather be someone with nothing better to do and just experience the beauty of existence and love uninhibitedly rather than aspire to be busy and surrounded by humans who communicate better through emoji.

Yes, I am often alone because of that, but the handful of genuine people that surround me make it all worthwhile. The friend who cheers for you, the sister who calls you to share a recipe she tried, the cousin who whistles louder at your success than you would, the neighbour who dropped by with a casserole because they wanted to share. The list is endless.

What about you? Look at the people around you, are they making a connect with you or are you just a contact, a connection to boost their aspirations?
Are you happy being the way you are? If not, what’s stopping you from making genuine relationships?

Published here first.

Image source: VikramRaghuvanshi from Getty Images Signature Free for Canva Pro

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