A Toddler Asks: Can We Hug Instead, Ma?

Dear Ma,

I know that you love me a lot and so do I. You are everything to me – my first friend, my first teacher, my first love, my safe haven in this confusing world which is wonderful and yet scary at times.  But Ma, sometimes even you seem scary.  Especially when I am not “behaving” myself.

Ma, I wish I could tell you that I do not intend to “behave badly” – I just cannot seem to help it!

I wish I could tell you that when I am crying my lungs out at something seemingly petty, all I need is for you to sit close to me and not talk (or yell) but listen Ma – not just with your ears but with your eyes too – because every once in a while I just cannot seem to hold it all together and handle it.

Can we hug instead, Ma?

Ma, I really do wish to tell you calmly in those moments, that I am hungry or tired or the noise and the lights and the excitement is a bit much for me and I wish to go some place quiet – just you and me and find calm in your snug bosom.

The words don’t come, but the tears do, and you may think I am doing this deliberately to annoy you and tire you out when you are already so tired at the end of the day.

Can we hug instead, Ma?

Never miss real stories from India's women.

Register Now

Sometimes, I try really hard to keep it together and not cry and keep following you around asking you to play with me.  Ma, I’m not trying to stifle you with my clinginess.  I know you want to just lie down or read a book or use the bathroom in silence, and say no.

I just don’t know how to tell you ma

And just like that the tears that I have been holding back, come out in a seemingly disproportionate manner, and you get angry.  I know you try so hard to not yell or get upset at me, but at the same time, I just don’t know yet, how to tell you that I need you to lend me your calm and stay with me till I learn to let this feeling of overwhelming pass.

Can we hug instead, Ma?

I am sure you must be wondering, how difficult can it be for someone to fall asleep when they are visibly sleepy and exhausted.  I take even longer when I am over-tired, and I end up making you feel exasperated.

Not only that, but I don’t know how to tell you yet, that I am unable to calm myself down and that I need your help.

Can we hug instead, Ma?

The next time I push your buttons, can we just hold onto each other and just stay there – listening to each other – not with our ears but with our eyes?

Can we hug Ma?

Love,

Your toddler

Image source: Monkey BusinessStudio, free on CanvaPro

Comments