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I don't have a single woman friend. Yes, you read this right. I am well on the other side of my forties and for the longest time, I regretted not having a girl only gang.
I don’t have a single woman friend. Yes, you read this right. I am well on the other side of my forties and for the longest time, I regretted not having a girl only gang. And I happily say this in the past tense.
At school, I was really popular, in the ‘cool gang,’ as all schools have. I thought they were friendships that would last a lifetime, but they didn’t.
I am a nineties teenager and I grew up, got married and had kids in the blink of an eye. Life to me was all about my husband, kids and family. Slowly, as my girls grew up, and my nest got empty, I missed the girlie moments we had and found myself craving female company.
After all, sisterhood was the way to be. A lot of online sites that promote and help women, inspired me to join and share my thoughts. As my words got accepted, and I grew a reader base, I had a glimmer of hope that maybe I’ll find others like me, craving for a friend like.
But sadly that never happened.
For the online world, I became unreachable and for the offline, a threat. I am not the sort that is high on shopping, brands and salons. Neither do I want to gossip, bicker or judge.
All I really am is a simple, no holds barred girl, who thrives on the brighter side of the surface.
I want to meet people, drink, dance and enjoy the evening, chattering about life and love. I want to spend my time creating, writing or learning a new skill. Likewise, I don’t like pretence, nor do I tolerate manipulative projections on people and myself.
Alone. Yes. But not lonely.
The few women I did find some sort of connect with ended up character assassinating me for the ease with which I could chat with a man. The fact that I grew up in a cosmopolitan city, wherein men and women can be just friends, is not an idea that can be conceived right here in this Northern valley.
Oh, No! I got branded with the worst word you can ever call a woman, by a woman.
But it happened and, single-handedly, I pulled myself out of the trauma through my writing. Just as I was ready to smile again, yet another woman walked up and accused me of being too open and real in social media!
I don’t dress up, neither do I put on layers of makeup when I post a video or a reel. I don’t teach or preach, but share my views on life so that you can perhaps find some sort of connect and use it in yours. But that wasn’t accepted to the so-called woman influencer around me!
Why do women bring down other women? Why is there so much insecurity and dual personality in them?
These are questions I constantly find myself pondering about. Amidst the plethora of social issues we discuss in the world today, real sisterhood is missing.
A person always relates to their own experiences, and it is through these moments that I believe we, as a society, need to be more kind and more empathetic towards each other.
As much as I wanted the girl gang in my life, today I am content in the knowing that some things can’t be forced.
I’m sure I haven’t met the right ones yet, but I will one day soon and until then, I’m going to ride high on this wave of being alive.
Image source: Shylendrahoode via Getty Images, free and edited on CanvaPro
Pooja Poddar Marwah is an Indian author and blogger. (October 22,1978) Her foray into writing began in a parking lot, whilst she was waiting for her kids’ co-curriculars to get over. Her debut read more...
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