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Women are not the second sex or the weaker one, but the first sex! Here are 6 things I want my daughter to learn as she grows up!
Female is not the second sex or the inferior sex.
Female is the first sex. Female is the sex of the zygote. All human beings whether they have an XX or XY chromosome start from the same point that is phenotypically female for the first 3-4 weeks. Thus, each male had been a female during the initial weeks of his life so if they loathe femininity they loathe themselves.
It is an established fact that the fastest sperm fertilizes the egg and I gave birth to a daughter proving that she was the fastest sperm defeating her potential male siblings in the race to life.
Thus, she was a winner in an athletic completion since her one-celled organism state.
There are recent findings that suggest that the membranes of the egg have been broken through by the fastest sperms but they die in the process making way for relatively average sperms to fertilize the egg.
Again, the ejaculation of sperm takes seconds to reach the egg. However, the acidic atmosphere of the vagina kills most of the sperm.
The sperm that fertilizes the egg has survived through fatal circumstances for longer. Thus, that sperm isn’t the average swimmer but the resilient and stronger one.
Anatomically speaking, it takes just one light stroke to break the testicles into fits of pain while it is not that easy to induce pain in a vagina. So, anatomically to she is not a weakling but the stronger one.
Arunima Sinha, even after being amputated scaled Mount Everest more than once. Capt. Shiva Chauhan is India’s first Woman army officer to be deployed in Siachen, World’s Highest Battlefield. The Phogat sisters have defeated bulky men at various tournaments and our country’s leading wrestlers.
Every woman is breaking the shackle society has imposed on her. They are facing the toughest odds. They are achieving feats that most men can’t even dream of. There is no restraint on a human being’s potential especially not because of gender. We all are collectively trying to do everything that a human being can.
Don’t let anyone make you believe that your life has only one goal which is motherhood to achieve this you must abide by the rules set by the patriarchy. You have taken birth for a much higher goal than the sustenance of a species. And you only must work towards achieving that potential.
Don’t let society brainwash you into believing in anything that will make you feel inadequate or inefficient. Motherhood is a choice, not the ultimate life goal. And you should not let anyone make you feel afraid of any physical feat because of the perceived threat to your fertility.
No matter what people say: her career and achieving her true potential should come before everything else for a woman; especially for a woman!
The first woman in our mythology is not “Prasuti”, the wife of Daksha but the mighty warrior, AdiShakti, Devi Durga. We must remember that is our true potential and that is what must be our aspiration.
Women throughout history have been warriors, across all civilisations across, all over the world. Women have been the leaders and the first civilisations were all matrilineal and matriarchal.
Most women since time immemorial have believed that their virtue resides in their vaginas.
In one of my International Research Papers “A postcolonial feminist analysis of the concept of virginity and honour in the epic the Mahabharata and to de-stigmatize the honour and honour-based crimes”
I have cited the exact portions of Mahabharata where Pandu was telling Kunti how the practice of controlling the sexuality of women came into being and how it has nothing to do with her virtue and character.
I have also quoted the shlokas from the religious texts that tell a woman’s honour doesn’t reside in her vagina and virginity.
Adultery has always been rebuked and shunned in our religious texts because it alludes to cheating however open-ended consensual relationships were not and the epic Mahabharata is the proof.
Thus, Draupadi and Kunti are sung of as eternal virgins and virtuous women in shlokas. (The paper is open access and available online. It is on my Google scholar profile as well if anyone wants to read further).
It is most important for the mothers of this generation to raise their daughters free of the guilty conscience of the vagina. We must teach our daughters to not be ashamed of menstruation.
Apart from the biological explanation of menstruation, the traditional Indian societies rooted in mythology do not see it as an ostracizing event highlighting impurity. In Indian mythology, it has been mentioned that women out of their benevolence for the world of nature shared the expiation that god Indra had to do because of a curse.
Gods were mortals then and he would have to be away from his heavenly duties of bringing rains and regulating the climate of the earth for long enough to bring droughts. Thus, women alongside the trees, earth and ocean took it upon themselves because these four were the purest souls according to the Vedas and the Sanatan Dharma.
Thus, women started menstruating to share Indra’s curse because they were amongst the purest of beings created by God. Their entire purity and goodness were to fight off the evil brought about by that curse which would have left them weak.
The women thus were advised not to enchant the powerful Vedic mantras which were potent enough to invoke god and would have drained women’s life force and energy according to Vishnu Purana and Narayan Kavach Katha. There is no reference to forbidding anything from women. The reference is advisory.
These myths were twisted by the colonial empire and Turkish invasions and were culturally hybridised into the belief of impurity associated with women in Abrahamic religions like Christianity where women were the committers of original sin.
Men worshipping Devi’s and temples following the menstruation rituals for goddesses calling the temples “during those days” pious enough for special Sadhnas but forbidding women for being impure or “ashudh” is sheer hypocrisy and a direct example of epistemological colonisation.
So, the progressive idea of “Period or Menstruation Leaves” that the world started following in the year 2022 was there in Indian mythology since Vedic times even before the time of Aryans and Turkish invaders.
Women are now fighting to enter temples and are justified to do so in my opinion because of the long history of oppression and to de-stigmatise the idea of impurity, which is fine in the current time because the level of spirituality that was attainable by everyone during the Vedic Period is not everyone’s cup of tea today.
And thus, it will not harm menstruating women to enter any religious institution anymore than the non-menstruating ones or the males who were not pure enough to share a part of Indra’s expiation. Those who reach that level of spirituality understand and follow the restraints.
It is not something that corrupts one’s religion or faith and this is what we as mothers should teach our daughters who are often snubbed as feminists and are blamed for undermining their culture.
So we must be educated in the true nature of our culture. The underlying argument remains to understand, accept and appreciate differences.
Thus, I will teach my daughter not to be afraid of her vagina and treat it as a normal body part with normal body functions and not some mystical idol. Instead, I will teach her to treat her body, personality and sense of self with reverence so that no one can be sacrilegious towards her mind and mental health.
The entire basis of the game of Tetris is built around the idea that once you adjust and change your direction to fit in, you disappear. So be that block that doesn’t fit.
Other blocks will come and settle over you and will try to crush you to win the game or use you as the ladder or building block but you make sure that you remain that hole in their foundation sooner or later making the body, the person, the institution that is trying to crush you or is using you to rise the ladder will come crashing down because by refusing to fit in the system you will weaken its foundation.
This is how the patriarchy would eventually crumble and we will be able to reclaim the position women used to enjoy during the Vedic period – the Equals.
You should set boundaries with every person in your life and should strictly filter the toxic and narcissistic people out of your life. You are born with the potential to make the process of evolution forward by focusing on self-growth.
It is not selfish it will be the most selfless thing you will do because it will ultimately link humanity or bring it a step closer to an evolved state. This is what yogis do.
Narcissists are found in every family, your neighbourhood, community and the entire world and they are nature’s weed in the harvest of betterment; thus, shunned and banned from your life. Anything, any person, who refrains you from actualising your true potential, is not family or friend but a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
You and I will educate ourselves about the toxic traits to identify them when we see them.
Fairytales are building on the binary opposition of good/evil; white/black. Thus, they prepare our girls for polarised beliefs and disappointments. They make you uninclined to perceive the grey in the world which makes you guilt-prone and susceptible to gaslighting.
Moreover, fairytales make our girls believe in an impractical ideal world with unrealistic standards of beauty and heightened optimism for an untold yet anticipated happily-ever-after.
Fairy tales are monumental in making girls believe that a man is the master of her happiness resulting in many falling into the traps of hope. We need to understand that no one will come to rescue us, In the end, we have to pick the sword and slay the dragon by ourselves. Just like men, our girls need to hear stories of pragmatism, poverty and war to understand economics and politics.
They will learn to find hope through facts and figures rather than untested statistically insignificant assumptions and exceptions.
Image source: Dragon Images, free and edited on CanvaPro
Dr. Nishtha Mishra is an internationally published author. She is a Doctorate in English Literature from one of the reputed Central Universities. She has been an all round topper and has 5 gold medals to read more...
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