Dear Men And Neighbourhood Aunties, How Is A Woman’s Nighty Your Problem?

“Wear dupatta at least if not a saree!” “Oh gosh! These women and their nighties! Disgusting to see!”

I was sick and tired of listening to such statements all my life. How do my bindi, my bangles and my nighty affect you? I always wanted to say “shut up”. But my ‘traditional Indian upbringing’ asks me to respect others and not counter their loose tongues.

These comments come both from men and women.

“Why don’t you wear sarees? They fetch you respect and tail off your chances of being ridiculed by men” said a lady one day when I was going to work. Sarees give you an elegant, dignified and a royal look. However, it depends on how you carry them.

Hundreds of women don’t know how to drape and carry a saree and end up revealing their skin. Still, they feel that they are the signatures on the Indian canvas of tradition and culture. They set out to advise those who don’t wear sarees.

And a Kurti is so much more practical for everyday wear!

A fully covered comfortable kurti is a cut above the saree or a dupatta that needs adjusting quite often in front of people. When I teach in college, I would feel so uncomfortable to write on the board, to freely enact a piece of literature using multiple gestures when I wear a saree. The students’ focus is diverted at some point looking at the pallu waving in the wind or dupatta rising to kiss the fan blades. I can guess where the thoughts of students land. But a well suited kurti keeps me comfortable and I’m allowed to move my hands, neck and body freely to enact a piece of poetry or drama.

Again, it’s totally on the person, a personal choice. Maybe women should stop talking about the clothing choices of fellow women. As long as the clothing is apt for your workplace, never mind talking about it.

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This village has banned women from wearing nighties in the day time!

Oh, now when these comments come from men, they sound hilarious. Men talk about women wearing a nighty all day long in the house. I recently came across a news report where a village has banned women from wearing nighties in the day time.

Social media comments below that post were majorly from men expressing their infinite joy. They said “Wow! This should be implemented country-wide”, “Looking at women wearing nighties all day long in the house is so disgusting. This is a great move”, “Women who wear nighties don’t look attractive to their husbands. Wearing nighties is the main reason why relationships are broken” – Woah! These are the same men in half shoulder jablas, boxers, shortest shorts, lungis and dhotis folded to knees.

Men should certainly stop telling women what to wear and what not to…

I was wearing nighty one day in my house and was busy doing everyday activities. One of my relatives who came to my house, a man in his 50s, said “Wear a churidar at least. Wearing those nighties is worse! A woman is the Lakshmi of the house. A Lakshmi should wear decent clothes and should be shining in totality”.

I looked at him. He was sitting shirtless, wearing a ‘lungi’ folded to his knees. He was exposing his bare chest, bouncy belly and hairy legs.

I’m not here to comment on the person’s physique. But dear men, before asking women to wear what ‘you like’, please look at yourselves first. The women in your family don’t like to see you roaming half naked in the house. The only reason they don’t comment is that it’s been that for centuries and they’ve just accepted it.

… and examine their entitled behaviour instead!

Men should stop feeling as if they are entitled to roam with no shirt on and that women should wear clothes to appear like goddess. If you think that your lady is Lakshmi and she should wear only the ‘defined’ clothing, then you too are Vishnu who should be decked up. It’s stupid to say that clothing is the reason for broken relationships or increased bullying. If that’s true, then women would start ending their relationships with men who roam half naked in their families and start bullying those who wear low waist pants and torn jeans.

Be it a man or a woman or young or old, clothing enhances an individual’s personality and displays their identity. Clothing is to protect our body from external dangers of weather and insects. Clothing is important for everyone not just women. I always looked at men who told me not to wear something or wear something and wanted to say “Look at yourself”. To those men who are roaming around in the houses with no shirt or with loose, faded jablas and folded lungis, before talking about your wife’s, daughter’s or sister’s clothing, go get yourself some decent clothes to wear.

Image source: pixabay

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