We’d Like To Return This ‘Maa Stereotypes Ka Dahej’ Dumped On Us, This Mother’s Day!

Mother’s day. Aah and wow! A day when women the world over wake up to a shocking number of kisses, hugs, hallmark cards, breakfasts in bed, discordant musical performances and promises and ‘by god’ swears to be the best children, husbands and sometimes in-laws as well.

Of course, these offers and this exemplary behaviour, like most marketing campaigns, has a statute of limitations and doesn’t apply to walking dogs, instructing the house help on food and chores, or the mountain of other home and work-related burdens (what did you expect, woman!? A reality check please.) Which is fine. Give me a day of feeling like a queen (albeit of a tiny kingdom) and I’ll take it. But only if they promise to take back some extremely annoying monikers, expectations and stereotypes we have historically been ladled with without our permission, the kind that makes us see red and out blood boil. Neither can bode well. So listen up.

Gift no 1:

She is the perfect woman. Sarva Gun sampanna!

Gift no 2:

She is a multitasker. She can do anything. Maa ho to aisi!

Another one that feels like nails being dragged on a blackboard. You try balancing a toddler on your hip while screaming at a hungry 2^nd grader, cooking eggs, admonishing the delivery man at the door for not carrying change, following up on the phone about a cake that was never delivered, all while checking for an important email that might determine whether you get promoted over that insufferable, underserving airhead you sit next to at work. Oh and of course you are expected to look your best, smell decent and even entertain.

News flash. Most women don’t want to be multitaskers. They would much rather lie in the sun on a beach like a ghariyal and sip a margahrita. We do it because no one else will do it. So, stop the gaslighting.

Gift no 3:

Motherhood is the highest salaried job because the payment is pure love

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Utter bullshit. I say keep some of the love and bring in the moolah. This is so wrong on many levels. I know many capable, intelligent and qualified women being fed this stale recipe after marriage and conceiving, repeatedly, till they start believing that mothering children and people around the house is what they are best at, ambitions, careers and flying business while on business be damned. Yes, we love the family and the homestead but we are so much more than that and this silly deification robs us of the ability to stand on our feet which eventually depletes our sense of self. Not nice.

Gift no 5:

God can’t be everywhere so he created a mother

Oh puhleeze. This is a stand in statement for the real thing that nobody wants to say. Namely- You need to do everything for us while we behave like we are in diapers. God created everyone with hands, legs and a capacity to use their brains. Then why the reliance on the poor woman who has enough on her hands already? Grow up. Everyone. Like pronto.

Gift no 5:

I look for my mother in you

Carl Jung and Freud possibly have several theories on the subject. Kyon bhai? Why do you look for you mumma in your wife? They already have a lot of anatomical similarities and that’s where the overlap should end.

Looking for mummies in wives usually maketh a dull and lazy man. This kind of thinking raises hackles and makes women compete when there is nothing to compete for, and propagates sad and stale stereotypes like mom in law vs daughter in law. The ‘The End’ for this movie is a long time coming.

These gifts just keep giving but I should spare you for now. Do you know what’s a heavily searched topic on search engines? How to deal with an annoying mother. Let me give you a clue. Cut out the unfair expectations, let her breathe and stop saying annoying things to her. Chances are she will let you be and have better things to do with her time. Here’s to creating a new low, of expectations, performance standards and idolizing mothers. That’ll make it a truly happy Mother’s day!

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