My child is an inconvenience.

Well, I said it, didn’t I? The thought that goes through the mind of a lot of moms when a child (quote, unquote ) “misbehaves”. More so in public places, wedding celebrations, family gatherings, etc.., Moms go through a lot of pressure

Well, here is my two cents on this! I begin a self-inquiry and here goes.

Why do I so badly want to fit in?    –  I want to be in a group, accepted well, validated & want to be seen, and not want to be shown as a bad example.    – Fair thought ain’t it?

But the thing about THIS peoples’ mirror is that they keep changing, and the perspective keeps changing, so I keep altering my expectation and live hoping that someday the image I want to see will align with my reality.  I keep pushing my child so that the aesthetics are presentable. But does the appeal stay good for long? If not one sense, the appeal to other senses is deviating.

Why do we, as moms, impose this kind of onus on us and on our children?

Who makes these checkboxes of “should and shouldn’t” rule books?

Am sure most of us have gone through this during our growing up stage. << Be well behaved, well dressed, well learned, well placed at our jobs, well-kept houses, unbreakable bonds (in spite of abusive ones at times)>>.  We have peeped into countless and endless mirrors to align with.

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This is what I am doing Now. I voice my assertion stating:  I shall look less into these mirrors to align myself and my child and I am making my best effort to learn to look into the mirror of my beautiful child and ask her the interpretation of what she sees. This is uncharted territory even for me but, I have seen that this has helped me break the earlier mirrors and slowly helped me to unlearn the stereotypes, unfollow the crowd, stay unflustered to the pressures of wanting validation, and walk with my head held high with great amounts of confidence.

And yes, my child is an inconvenience when she doesn’t want to sit as it is the age to play and explore.

Yes, my child is an inconvenience when he wants to ask a zillion questions to learn and curiously explore when the adult wants him to sit quietly and not engage in a conversation with them.

Yes, my child is an inconvenience when she doesn’t want to wish/hug while asked. She knows her boundaries.

And yes, my child is an inconvenience when he asks to walk out of the room when he is overstimulated. He is learning to regulate her feelings. (Where a lot of adults still throw tantrums and do not know how to regulate themselves.)

And yes, my child is an inconvenience when he wants to sit and read a book or play rather than enjoy the way others do. He learns to engage himself and chooses his own type of pleasure over others’ convenience.

I respect all these and more. And accept all the “inconveniences ” as a light in their mirrors which I get to peek at and learn for myself.

So Just ask the question “Pourquoi pas ?”. And why do we hold ourselves to some implausible standards held by people who have fragile relationships with themselves?

I leave you to this pensive.

Wishing you all Great reflections ahead!

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