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For as long as my memories go, relationships with an emotional attachment have weighed heavy.
Where there are relationships, there has to be moving on.
But what of those relationships which seem to require a constant amount of effort and never seems to settle no matter what you do?
The younger me would’ve spent a lot of energy trying to make things work, if not that…at least work myself up into a healthy grudge.
Now, not so much. Let people be…sometimes our corners do not fit into their circles. We keep chafing at each other…and that only ends up hurting all involved.
Going ahead with my river metaphor, some ships are okay to be sunk…
R says: I am literally looking at myself as a callus now. When I thought about relationships, the visual picture in my head would be of the opposite person. Every relationship I had, good, bad or worse, was always due to the person I had or am having a relationship with.
It took me some decades of my life and a lot of different kinds of relationships to figure out that 1+1 makes two.
The visual picture of a relationship in my head should not just be the person, but myself with the person.
How my personality with its own different dimensions gels with that of the other person. And that is how I have been able to get an unbiased view.
For as long as my memories go, relationships with an emotional attachment have weighed heavy. There might have been people whom I might have enjoyed having conversations with and would have been around me for years; but their moving out of my life would never impact.
And then there are people whom you start to like/love. Friends, family, whatever. And when conflict arises in those relationships, I would try hard, very hard to resolve those conflicts.
Moving on did not come easy. And if ever I did move on, it wasn’t in the best state of mind and it wasn’t without holding a grudge.
Now with the adamant grays on my head, I do have a clearer view of what goes wrong in a relationship and am completely in sync with the fact that all blame does not rest on one person; in fact, there should not be any blame!
Moving on is a more positive process.
I have learnt to enjoy experiences and hold onto memories and not hold onto the person. And well, nothing is permanent right, not even life!
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We are an author duo who love writing together. We have written a couple of books together, Tete a tete with R&S and Anu and Isha. read more...
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