Which Is More Important For Lakshmi—Pursuing Her Dreams Or Babysitting Her Granddaughter?

Lakshmi adorned her husband’s picture with a Jasmine garland. She lit the lamp and closed her eyes for a few moments to pray.

“Lakshmi Mami! Today is the last day to confirm your availability for the Kumbakonam temples tour,” said Muthu, a travel agent, as he entered the house.

Lakshmi came out from the puja room. Wearing a crisp Chettinad cotton saree in maroon, she looked beautiful despite her wrinkled face. Her long grey hair was meticulously plaited.

“Okay Mami!” said Muthu and left.

Lakshmi then sat down to check her diary for the list of orders for the day. She had started a home business after her husband’s demise.

“Hmm! 1 kg Sambar powder and Rasam powder. I’d better get started now,” she said enthusiastically and entered the kitchen humming her favourite Carnatic song.

As she finished frying the red chillies and lentils, she heard the phone ring.

Never miss real stories from India's women.

Register Now

“Must be Raji,” said Lakshmi and rushed to pick up the phone.

“Hello, Amma! How are you?” asked her daughter Raji.

“I am doing fine. How is Ria kutti? Does she crawl now?”

“Yes, Amma! Soon she will start walking too. I’m finding it very difficult to concentrate on my office work these days. I will sponsor citizenship for you. You can shift here for good. Anyway, you are alone. It will be of great help if you come here instead of hiring a babysitter.”

Lakshmi remained quiet for a few moments. A chain of thoughts was running in her mind.

For over forty years I was consumed in mundane duties—demanding in-laws, never-ending chores, children, and their upbringing. Never have I given importance to my priorities or dreams. But now I’m free to do whatever I wish. Should I say yes to her? Going there would mean giving up my life here, my freedom…

“Amma, are you there?” asked Raji when she did not hear her reply.

“Yes! Raji, please don’t misunderstand me. I can visit you whenever time permits. But I can’t move there permanently. My home business is doing pretty well now. Moreover, I have registered as a volunteer for the temple activities, and I’m also heading the Bajanai group. I love doing all this. I hope you understand.”

“Amma, I understand. I’m happy for you. Don’t worry, I’ll take care,” said her daughter and hung up.

Lakshmi had no second thoughts.

I love my daughter, no doubt. But I can’t neglect myself. I choose to embrace my desires, dreams, no matter how trivial they may sound to others. I need this—my independence and happiness for my mental well-being. 

She then sat on the swing to read a Tamil novel, Ponniyin selvan. It was a book she had gifted herself for her birthday.

Glossary:

Mami- Aunty

Kutti – baby

Bajanai- Bhajan

Ponniyin selvan – A historical Tamil novel

Image source: CanvaPro

Comments