Dear New Mum, You’ve Been Through Something Life-Changing And It’s Okay To Feel This Way!

Every mum’s need of the hour is empathy. All she needs is a ear to listen to her, a heart to empathize with her, and a word of encouragement. Unfortunately, many mums aren’t bestowed with such empathy and love. Somehow or the other, they end up being guilty and feel low at some point.

Dear Mums,

It’s okay if you can’t breastfeed your baby during the first few nights, post your delivery. Your body needs some rest too.

It’s okay if you can’t lactate for whatsoever reason, and end up giving formula substitutes/donor milk to your baby. Your baby will still get the required nutrients.

It’s okay if you are blamed by society for not being able to breastfeed your baby. After all, most people only know to judge, not to empathize.

It’s okay if you mess up with your baby because of your sleep deprivation phase. It’s expected and is absolutely normal. Take a nap whenever you can and grab some sleep.

It’s okay if you lose your temper with your little one, despite all your efforts to put him/her to sleep. Both of you are in your learning phases and it might take some time to establish a correct schedule.

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It’s okay if you and your baby slept for a long time, missing one of the feeding sessions. You can feed your baby to full once he/she is awake.

It’s okay if you cry out in stress or have an emotional outburst while handling your baby. Venting out your emotions is good for your health and stability. Figure out a calmer method to vent those unattended emotions.

It’s okay if you still have a big belly post your delivery. Give time to your uterus until it can shrink back to its original size.

It’s okay if you become overweight and don’t fit into your favourite outfits. The body changes through pregnancy and childbirth, and it’s perfectly normal. You could start with mild exercises on a daily basis.

It’s okay if you are being judged/compared with another mom-baby for every matter. Try to take it in through one ear and leave it through the other. It doesn’t matter.

It’s okay if you prefer a parenting style different from the elders of your family. We come from different generations and it’s not possible to follow the old approach in this new generation.

It’s okay if you can’t sleep without your little one nearby you during the night times. It’s normal to feel empty without your little one for the first few years.

It’s okay if you decide to join back on your job alongside motherhood responsibilities. You have other chores to do in a day, and similarly for your job. Manage your time, prioritize things effectively and you will be a great success.

It’s okay if you quit your job to be a full-time mother. It’s absolutely your choice, so don’t have a double mind. Enjoy the motherhood phase without any insecurity about your career.

It’s okay if you are constantly being told about how someone else managed their motherhood duties in addition to handling their career. Not all moms are the same and not all job duties are the same. So take it easy.

It’s okay if you miss out on a few regular routines with your baby because of whatsoever reasons. It happens and is bound to happen. It doesn’t mean you are an imperfect mother, it just means you are a normal human being.

It’s okay if you just don’t feel like talking to anyone and just wish to spend some alone time. Sometimes, you need this. Take time and connect with your inner self.

It’s okay if you decide to wean off at some point but it keeps dragging off because of other reasons. Weaning off is not as easy as it sounds. Your body and your toddler need some time to get adapted to the new routine. Take it slow.

It’s okay if you are judged for your extended breastfeeding. Maybe you too would have judged other mommies, earlier in your life, when you saw a 4-year-old being breastfed. Now it’s just that you know the benefits of extended feeding and have preferred to do it, while others don’t know about it. Worry not.

It’s okay if you are framed as the main reason for your child’s picky eating and irregular nap times.  Nobody knows your efforts and struggles behind this picture. Leave it for now, things will improve and fall in schedule eventually. Keep trying your best.

It’s okay and it’s all going to be okay. No one can ever empathize with you as much as you yourself can. Hence, derive moral support and encouragement from within you, instead of expecting it from society.

Happy motherhood!

Image source: Loving new mom holding her newborn baby by Fly View Productions from Getty Images Signature, Free for Canva Pro

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