Not Condemn But Compliment Deepika Padukone

Deepika Padukone, one of the biggest superstars in the country, talks about her past dating life, in a famous chat show, while sitting right next to her husband. It was a candid discussion where both Ranveer Singh (her husband) and she shared about the events that led to their marriage.

And what followed next?

Of course, trolling! Massive trolling – that questioned her character, credibility and integrity. So much so that a leading college staged a skit on her private life. WOW! So much for being a successful, articulate and honest woman! So much for a modern woman who had the guts to admit on national television that she was dating multiple men, that too in front of her husband! The only one with the ‘right’ to have problems with her statements, is her husband. But guess what? Everyone but him had problems!

Well, it tells a lot. It shows that we are not ready to accept strong-willed women who lead their lives on their terms. A few years back, news about a leading male star ‘sleeping with 308 women’ – made it to the headlines. But a candid conversation by a female superstar on her own love life draws flak and downright character assassination. Being ‘open’ is such a menace for women. ‘Open’ never means the openness of one’s mind and spirit, but rather the easy ‘availability’ of one.

What we could have done?

We could have celebrated the candidness of the star couple, their understanding and transparency in marriage. The fact that she was so comfortable talking about her past suitors, in front of her husband, on national television shows the maturity of their relationship. Isn’t that how the level of comfort should be in marriage? And Ranveer’s little pretence of jealousy as she was talking about her suitors, was so adorable.

The Problem

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Celebrity trolling is a modern-day menace. But what is more disturbing here is the fact that women are still judged on some medieval moral standards. Why having multiple relationships before settling down is still such a taboo? Why only women are still awarded the glorifying title of ‘home-breaker’? Don’t ‘men’ break homes too? Why choosing divorce over toxic relationships is still not preferred? Why ambition in women is frowned upon? Why choosing a career over children is criticized? When do we learn to accept women as individuals – independent of societal and family expectations? When do we stop judging them for choosing their path, making their own mistakes, overcoming their traumas and living their lives?

According to the National Crime Reports Bureau, crimes against women are up by 4% in 2023. Of which 31.4 % is ‘cruelty by husband or his relatives’. The root cause of these crimes is our mindset that belittles, questions and trolls the confident and independent woman.

This world has never been a bed of roses for women. Very few women have dared to live by their rules and celebrate their choices. Deepika Padukone is one such woman, who has made us proud as an Indian, as a woman, as an individual.  Instead of thrashing and trolling, she deserves our accolades and admiration.

History shows that trolling is temporary, inspiration is forever. The onus is on us – whether we choose to get inspired and rise or choose to troll and get doomed. Choose wisely. Our future is watching us.

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