“Oh, God, Take This Monthly Drama Away From Us. Let Men Live With Periods Instead!”

Beleaguered by period cramps, one night I dreamt that I met the Creator, and was granted my wish that women no longer had to live with periods, and men would have them instead. Alas, just a dream!

Recently a thought came to my mind…. Actually the thought was blowing my mind because I was having my periods and cursing all the men in the world for my period cramps. People who do know me are well aware that I am that kind of feminist who even judges God/Nature/Creator for making us suffer through PERIODS.

Like seriously! Why?

So I have been trying to find answer to this for a while now. I have been going through this monthly biological process for almost 15 years now and will have to suffer through it for at least another 15 years.

But does anyone ask these questions to a MAN? No! Are you really surprised that they aren’t asked these questions?

Honestly, for us Indian women, these questions are the norm, and we are taught to grow up with the pain. Most of us are either okay with these questions or have made peace with them.

In my case, my irritation and annoyance with these questions, norms, or whatever you call them, has increased steadily. Hence my DREAM comes to my rescue!

The day before, I was on the 3rd day of my monthly shit pain and as usual I was just not able to sleep. I tried to take some comfort from the hot water bag, jaggery, chocolate, pacing. Finally I shed some tears and then fell off to sleep, and started dreaming this wonderful scenario.

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A feminist’s dream

Scene 1

I am in a white smokey land (gives me heaven-like feels; you know, as it is shown in movies and all) but I am not dead. It is more like I received a chance to attend a meet-and-greet event with the Creator.

This is also the result of my event management profession. I have been managing so many of these events for such a long time that it certainly feels good to be a guest for a change. So I go to the registration desk, collect by the event kit (which looks like a Koffee with Karan hamper, because that’s the fanciest thing I have seen and admired for a long time).

Scene 2

A lot of people have been invited to the event, who I am sure are from the elite class; people like me (ha ha ha). The event starts with a welcome message that sounds like it was recorded by the voice of Big Boss, and then the welcome ceremony begins. Dance, drama and music … all of which is so amazing that I am mesmerized and I find myself making a mental note to take the artist’s manager’s reference for my future projects.

Scene 3

Finger food and wine is already being served and finally it is our turn for the meet and greet. The question and answer session is about to begin. A special throne is placed at the centre of the stage and we are all waiting to meet the Creator and ask or share our concerns of “being human/female/male/others”. Whatever that may be…

Scene 4

The voice response system addresses the questions and no one really shows up to sit at the throne. I am losing my temper now. I really want to ask my question, and validate my feminism.

Scene 5

Finally, it is my turn to ask the questions. I have quite a few. My first question is why can’t I see you Mr or Ms Creator? Why is the Creator’s voice a male voice?

The voice seems to be a little shocked at my question. But since it is a public forum the voice seems to that it is trying to be patient towards me. The voice says, “This voice is just to address the audience; however, if you want we can alter the sound to that of a female one.” I think the response is rather rude. I thank the voice and continue in one breath. I say, “Anyway, I do have another concern and that is …”

Before I take this dream telling (since it’s not a story so can’t call it story telling no!) ahead, I must mention that an announcement has been made that the best query/concern would be rewarded with a “tathastu”. The Creator must find it logical and valid. So, here goes my question…

Scene 7

“I am sorry for asking about the gender of the voice. As per my knowledge of biology all animal or plants or living beings are born from female cells, mothers; then why is the CREATOR pretending to have a man’s voice?”

I continue, “I think all these social stigmas are being always or mostly against women. All I want a balance now onwards”

Scene 8

Everyone is shocked in the hall and start making fun of me or getting angry at my question. However, for the first time, a halo begins to appear on the throne, though there is no figure to be seen/ It is still hard to say whether the Creator is male or female. Suddenly the voice sounds more like a chorus. The voice asks me, “What do you desire?

I am on cloud 9 now and say, “Why don’t men menstruate? Shouldn’t they also take the responsibility of running nature other than just carrying some sperm cells right?”

The voice seems to be in deep thought. I continue, “At least men who are not virgins should menstruate… How about that?” I add my logic, saying, “This will reduce the judgment we women have to face for having sex before marriage. No one goes to judge whether a man is a virgin. Why so for women then? At the end of the day, women are the ones who will bear children, breastfeed their children, raise them and so on. Even if it’s an animal, the female does not leave their children unless they are self-sufficient. Then at least grant them have the freedom to live a period-free life. Let them bear the child, breastfeed but take this period drama away from the women. Let the men live with this for a while and see how it works. You are the CREATOR. You can take a call later depending on how this ‘Law of Nature’ works.

Scene 9

Before anyone else has a chance to object or support, the Creator replies, ‘TATHASTU!’

Scene 10

I wake up in pain and grab on to my hot water bag as it pushes me back into reality. Because I was still on my 3rd day of period and have to get ready for work (sigh!).

Image source: shutterstock

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