I WAS A Mother; I’m A Mother, Nevermore…

A dirge by a mother, who has just lost her child to the erasing blackness of death. She was a mother. But she’s nameless, now. A mother, no more.

Milk of sorrow, drunk,
As dawn begins- though it does not seem,
For the majestic sun- bowed,
And Heaven’s tears danced, many at a time,
And a bleak cloud crossed the majestic hills!

A mask of death put,
Over tragedy, for,
What is greater sorrow than parting…

The mirror is draped,
The ocean, at its large is still,
And the trees, and the wind,
Are hushed…

~~~

Sorrow sunken in eyes,
And shoulders slumped, bearing
The weight of Death’s hands…

Throngs of white, they surround you,
Sitting- wondering- weeping,
Sitting, and wondering and weeping.
Why you had reached for Heaven,
In the prime of your youth!
In this time of joyful bliss and haven!

‘Why?’ she whispers into your ears,
Strands of grey in a messy bun,
Brown shawl over a red sari,
Her tears falling on your
Pale cheek- sliding and resting.

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‘Why?’ she asks, looking through
The black RayBans that shield
Your windows from the rest of the world!
You do not answer, and
Her face wrinkles, sorrow writ all over!

And then, she lays on you,
Clutching your white shirt,
She searches for that familiar ‘dub- hub- dub’,
And, she remembers that
It is gone, like the destiny of everyone else!

And, down memory lane, she walks,
And there you are!

The tiny little boy- against her bosom,
Resting- Resting,
Your tiny fist clutching her tangles,
Resting peacefully…

There you are!

A scared youth, in her arms,
In her arms, seeking and taking comfort!

And, there you are,

Waving to her, in the early morn,
To work, and as she waves
To you, she realizes that you are
Slipping through her fingers,
Slipping through her fingers…

And she wakes, in the dawn of
The present day- against your white shirt!
She loosens her grip on you,
And though she knows not, why
You reached for heaven,
Does she know that ‘twas
Your will, and your will was obeyed!

She kisses you, gentle and caring,
And she is reminded that
With your parting, you are nameless forevermore,
And she is too,
For she was a mother, and is nevermore!

For she was a mother, and is nevermore!

If you or anyone you know is feeling suicidal, here are some of the helplines available in India. Please call. 

Aasra, Mumbai: 022-27546669

Sneha, Chennai: 044-2464 0050

Lifeline, Kolkata: 033-2474 4704

Sahai, Bangalore: 080–25497777

Roshni, Hyderabad: 040-66202000, 040-66202001

A version of this was first published here.

Image source: shutterstock

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