Listen, Girl!

You are NOT defined by your body type,  the color of your eyes, the sweetness of your smile, the texture of your hair, the sexiness of your strut, the functional status of your uterus.

Listen, Girl.

Patriarchy will punch you in the face every single day.

Harmless little comments. Well-intentioned even.  Sometimes (many times) by fellow women. Sometimes by you, yourself. Don’t be afraid to call out on it. Don’t be afraid to correct it.

You Are Not Defined By…

You are NOT defined by your body type,  the color of your eyes, the sweetness of your smile, the texture of your hair, the sexiness of your strut, the functional status of your uterus. YOU will convince yourself that belly fat is nothing short of a character flaw. You will passingly judge a friend for not wearing perfume, or some other silly un-feminine transgression. Repeat after me,  “YOU ARE NOT YOUR BODY. YOU ARE MORE THAN THAT.”  Your flaws lend unique flavors to your personalities. Your stretch-marks are relics of your endurance. The crow-feet around your eyes, only mean that you have laughed hard and lived well.

You are NOT defined by the kilos you weigh. There is only a thin line between striving for health and obsessing over body image. Anybody who does not happen to be your nutritionist, trainer or doctor, has no business commenting on your body. Imagine if someone asked you “What was the colour of your poop this morning?” You would be outraged. You would angrily retort: its something very personal and not anybody’s business. So is your body weight, your bust size, your BMI. You don’t owe anyone any explanation. DO NOT replace this outrage with apology, the next time someone tries to make a big deal about it. More importantly, don’t be the kind of person who does that. Do not judge a woman (actually ANYONE) by the contours of their body EVER. Celebrate one’s spirit, one’s resilience, one’s achievements. Don’t settle for anything less than that, with ANYONE.

Don’t Settle For Anything Less

You are NOT defined by your singlehood, your matrimony, your sexual orientation. Listen to your heart. Be a nomad if you like or a family-woman. It is YOUR choice. Let your choices be stripped of the baggages of social mores and moral conventions. DO NOT give up your right to choose.

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You are NOT defined by the egg-count of your ovaries. After few years of marriage, even casual aquantainces will aquire self-appointed rights to lecture you on starting a family. In a family function or party, somebody will invariably comment, “The biological clock is ticking sweetheart. When are you having a kid?” Don’t hesitate to point out to them the obscenity of asking someone in public , whether one is fornicating for pleasure or procreation. Don’t be afraid to remind them, it’s none of their bloody business. DO NOT buy myths such as “Motherhood completes a woman.” It only complements you. You were always complete. You were always enough.

Listen girl. Love yourself. Always. In your own terms.

Live well.

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