Demotivation Is Never The Answer

Dissatisfaction leads to demotivation and demotivation leads to depression.

Feeling demotivated ?
We all struggle in some way or another to stay motivated and we all will feel demotivated at times, especially in these times of the pandemic. It is said that sometimes things fall apart around us, so that better things can fall in place besides there will always be things that we don’t want to happen or expect. What does demotivation even mean? To me it feels like experiencing a sudden lack of vision, perhaps even a feeling of loss of security and definitely it is about not feeling valued or appreciated. When others seem to be doing simple things and you just can’t get down to doing the same, you wonder. You wonder, speculate, doubt, question – again and again and then you start beating yourself up and feel demotivated.

My Marathon Experience

Let me share that I participated in marathons for many years but today I can’t even walk half a kilometre without looking for a place to flop down. I have 60+ girl friends who are enjoying 35+ kms runs every morning and rightfully boasting about it on their facebook pages and all I do, is hit that ‘like’ button and move on. I am done with running and am sure if a dog were to run after me, I would get bitten for sure. So just forget the comparisons, forget what you can or cannot do because no five fingers are the same. Yet sometimes you just don’t feel like doing anything and struggle to motivate yourself. That being said, I must confess I’ve been there too. Like when I see my published books not really being picked up or podcasts listener numbers not so great or even sitting at home wondering what next? It makes me wonder whether it is worth the effort and then somewhere out there in the far end of the world, someone listens to an episode of my podcast and sends me a note in messenger saying they liked what they heard or someone picks up a copy of my book – that is enough to get me motivated to continue. My mom always said to me “what is yours, will be yours and what is not, never will be”. That of course that can never meant that I did not strive to reach goals I set out for myself. It is just that I try very hard not to let anyone demotivate me enough to hate the way my life is going. You should do the same.

Are You Bored Or Demotivated?

Most of us confuse being demotivated with getting bored, but that is not true. Just ask yourself two questions – Why am I bored? and Not motivated to do what? Boredom is just laziness not to do that something that matters. More importantly simply stop comparing yourself with others and complaining about everything under the sun. It is said that “good things come to people who wait, but better things come to those who go out and get them.” Besides, you are also bound to meet people who are getting what you wanted, so be prepared for that. Focus on steps forward, rather than obsessing over what you ought to be getting, and are not. Failures are an opportunity to learn and grow, but we tend to take failures personally. Don’t sulk over it, try it another way.

Dissatisfaction

We have all heard this phrase often enough, “sometimes God doesn’t give you what you think you want, not because you don’t deserve it but because you deserve better “. Life will kick you around, negative statements will destroy your efforts and stress you out, but that is inevitable. Negative self-talk is totally avoidable too because as Eleanor Roosevelt has said, “no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Take charge so as not to allow negativity manifest into dissatisfaction because if you find yourself feeling dissatisfied, it is quite possible that you are doing things for the wrong reasons, instead of doing things that you really should be doing. Dissatisfaction leads to demotivation and demotivation leads to depression. Symptoms of loss of motivation, self doubt, sadness, trouble sleeping, lack of concentration, fatigue and a negative view of life are likely to be symptoms of depression. Yet, depression and demotivation are not the same. In simple terms, depression can be characterised by how long your lack of motivation lasts. However, by itself, lack of motivation doesn’t warrant the diagnosis. These lines by Japanese writer, Haruki Murakami, sums up the feeling of demotivation, “And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through. How you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in.”

Here are a few more inspirational lines from Poet & Novelist, Charles Bukowski’s poem titled “Gamblers All” which goes, “sometimes, you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it. But you laugh inside; remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.” The poem goes on to end with these lines, ” it’s been a tough fight worth fighting as we all drive along, betting on another day.” Betting on another day are such powerful words so choose goals that interest you and things that you genuinely want to do or achieve, rather than what other people want for you. You are more likely to stay motivated if you do.

Image Via Pexels

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