Ladies, Stop Feeling Bad About These 146 Things ASAP!

All our lives, we are made to feel guilty, embarrassed & ashamed of too many things. Here’s my list of things we need not feel bad about!

It’s 2021, and there are still so many stereotypes associated with being a woman. From a very young age, we are made to believe in these stereotypes, conditioned to behave, dress and present ourselves in a certain way. We are made to feel conscious, and embarrassed about our own bodies!

Often women experience body shaming and find themselves being judged unfairly, criticised, pressured, inconvenienced, discriminated against, and abused. And all this simply because they are women!

1. Puberty (physical changes taking place in your body, having to wear a bra etc.)
2. Having periods. Period stains.
3. Talking about periods. Particularly when it comes to the men in your life (sons, husband, boyfriend, partner, brother) or at work.
4. Buying sanitary napkins, buying emergency contraception.
5. Holding/ carrying a pad to the washroom, without having the need to hide it.
6. Disposing of a sanitary napkin, without discretion.
7. Buying bras
8. Not wearing a bra
9. A peeping bra strap, visible bra/panty lines.
10. Hanging undergarments out to dry, without having the need to cover them with a towel, or another piece of garment.
    
11. Big breasts
12. Small breasts or having a flat chest.
13. Not wearing a dupatta
14. Not wearing a mangalsutra, bindi with western wear
15. Wearing a bikini
16. Having facial hair- upper lip, chin hair etc
17. Excess/un-waxed body hair. The hair on toes or knuckles
18. Unthreaded eyebrows
19. Grey hair/not wanting to cover your greys
20. Acne, facial scars
    
21. Dark circles
22. Having to wear glasses
23. Being overweight
24. Being underweight
25. Having muscles
26. Being skinny
27. Having flab, paunch, muffin top
28. Not wanting to work out
29. Your skin tone
30. Being short
31. Being too tall
    
32. Revealing your marital status/ age
33. Being single/unmarried (when all your friends/cousins are). Not being able to find love or a life partner
34. Being a virgin all your life
35. Having pre-marital sex
36. The decision to remain single
37. Decision to re-marry
38. Living alone
39. Having a live-in partner
40. Living with your parents (at any age/any reason)
41. Living with your married sister/ brother.
42. Supporting parents financially/physically after marriage.
43. Wanting a fair share in the family property.
44. Being a housewife.
45. Being financially dependent on your husband/a man.
46. Being the breadwinner of the family (something to be proud of really)
47. Not wanting to change your maiden name after marriage.
48. Taking your husband’s name/calling him pet names.
49. Earning more than your husband.
50. Being more successful/ having a more successful career than your husband.
51. Not feeling ashamed of your husband (whether unemployed/uneducated /his profession, his looks etc.)
    
52. Having a crush after marriage.
53. Not knowing how to cook.
54. Not knowing how to drive a car/two-wheeler.
55. Not making a full thali of dishes for each and every meal.
56. Not being religious.
57. Not knowing how to perform religious rituals.
58. Not fasting for your husband.
59. Not waiting late to serve/have dinner with husband.
60. Asking or taking a second helping at the dining table.
61. Having a big appetite.
62. Binge eating.
63. Eating out solo, travelling solo.
64. Not having the house neat, clean, tidy at all times.
65. Not being able to multitask, not being a superwoman.
66. Not being the ideal/perfect daughter, mother, wife/bahu.
67. Not wanting to stay/ able to adjust with your in-laws or with a joint family after marriage.
    
68. Speaking up against harassment by in-laws.
69. Raising your voice against domestic violence, or injustice of any kind.
70. Walking out of an abusive marriage/partner.
71. Wanting a divorce.
72. Being a divorcee.
73. Bouncing back after a break up/divorce.
74. Being a single mother/parent.
75. Being a lesbian.
76. Being a sex worker.
    
77. Wanting your choice of contraception.
78. Not wanting to have children.
79. The decision to go for an abortion.
80. Not being able to conceive.
81. Not having a son.
82. Wanting to adopt a child.
83. Not being able to breastfeed.
84. Breastfeeding in public places.
85. C-section scar/any other bodily scar.
86. Post-delivery body (post-baby belly, sagging breasts, stretch marks etc.)
    
87. Doing a breast self-exam.
88. Being examined by a male doctor/gynaecologist.
89. Talking about mental health problems. Seeking help.
90. Being ambitious.
91. Prioritising your career.
92. Drinking alcohol.
    
93. Admiring a hunk, hot guy (younger or older)
94. Having male friends, having a guy drop you back home.
95. Asking a man out.
96. Dating or marrying a younger man.
97. Complimenting men.
98. Proposing to a man.
99. Paying the bill for a man.
100. Reading or watching x-rated books or movies.
101. Not wanting sex.
102. Wanting more sex.
103. Having sexual desires/ fantasies, sharing sexual fantasies with your husband
104. Asking to go to the toilet, in presence of men (in classrooms, meetings, seminars, conferences, wherever)
105. Frequent need to visit the toilet( overactive bladder/urinary incontinence or for changing pad)
     
106. Having an opinion
107. Having a voice, and using it
108. Speaking up/ raising an alarm against eve-teasers, molesters.
109. Breaking stereotypes
110. Being a feminist
111. Saying NO!
     
112. Not being able to converse fluently in English
113. Not being tech-savvy
114. Being illiterate
115. Being ignorant
116. To ask questions (in a classroom or otherwise)
117. Being ashamed of not knowing something. Saying ‘I don’t know’ without feeling embarrassed.
118. Being unemployed
119. Being rejected at an interview/ by a man
120. Being shy, being an introvert.
     
121. Not having friends( not feeling ashamed to admit)
122. Not having a social life. Loving your own company
123. Staying out late, coming home late( whether work/ party)
124. Getting up late
125. Wanting ‘me’ time
126. Splurging on yourself
127. Pampering yourself
128. Putting yourself first
129. Being selfish occasionally
     
130. Wanting the last piece of cake or chicken!
131. Getting plastic surgery done, willingly
132. Your past
133. Ageing
134. Being embarrassed for being called an aunty
135. Getting symptoms of menopause, reaching menopause.
136. Having a midlife crisis
     
137. Being seen without makeup.
138. Wearing red lipstick
139. Working in male-dominated fields
140. Asking for a higher salary, equal pay to that of a man for the same job
141. Playing games like cricket, boxing, wrestling.
142. Not sitting properly
143. Having sweaty armpits
144. Snoring
145. Burping
146. Farting!
     

If a man can encroach public places, adopt a relaxed sitting position by spreading his legs wide apart (not suggesting women do that). If men are seen as sexy when sweaty, can burp out loudly in public (bad manners!) snore away merrily, fart away, and get away with just a laugh, simply because they are men. Then, why aren’t these things okay for women? Why are the most similar, perfectly normal, natural bodily functions are seen as shameful and disgusting when it comes to women?

Whew! That was quite an exhausting list, wasn’t it? But it definitely is not a complete list. Why don’t you add some more in the comments below?

Meanwhile, let’s stop beating ourselves up and start loving ourselves!

Picture credits: Still from Bollywood movie Jab Tak Hai Jaan and gifs from Giphy and Tenor.

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