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You don't have to fit in with your marital family, workplaces or friends like a glove, so don't become an apologist for your choices, opinions, values or ideologies.
You don’t have to fit in with your marital family, workplaces or friends like a glove, so don’t become an apologist for your choices, opinions, values or ideologies.
‘Superwoman’ is a creation of selfish societies, essentially meant to keep the patriarchy engines running smoothly and in exchange they gave her the crown, Guilt drove women to take on more load to prove themselves for fear of being shamed, while becoming keepers of homes and societies.
Ironically, men don’t undergo a similar kind of struggle. In fact, there’s no pressure whatsoever to be a ‘Superman’ or struggle between career, home and raising kids, because Clark Kent never changed diapers, cleaned washrooms, or finished projects while dashing in and out of capes.
Did we raise the bar ourselves or walk unwittingly into the trap letting the world decide how we ought to look, behave and do? Whether size zero, or 34-36-34 figure suits best, or 4″stilettos even if they made ankles bleed to “look a million dollars” every time you stepped out to the grocer’s, PTA or party as if a woman’s worth lay in the right shade of pink lipstick or beeswax.
Stop multitasking through your identities and roles to become the ‘ideal’ daughters, wives, mothers, homemakers/career women for the cheers and claps that fall your way, because there’s more to you.
Excellence is fine, but perfection can be obsessive, so forgive yourself for the burnt rotis, leaky faucets or missed deadlines…exhale! Smell your coffee…order a meal, watch your favourite movie, enjoy a game, don’t let a lousy meal or bad appraisal become the validation of your existence.
show soSe self love, sign up for health plans and regular checkups. Physical and mental wellness are equally important aspects for a fulfilling life, but sadly women refuse to acknowledge mental problems fearing social castigation.
Learning to open up and seek help with therapy, healing, meditation, yoga, taking up hobbies while engaging in meaningful relationships and friendship are some ways to address them.
Beauty business is another expensive hoax. We don’t see men step onto weighing scales every time they have a pint of beer or slice of pizza. Sadly, women take their looks seriously and starve off inches to fit into kiddie clothes or size 3 shoes, go botox or silicone implants to iron out the wrinkles and creases.
Time to debunk the stereotype and wear your age, skin and scars with pride. Don’t let the Twitter or Instagram ‘likes’ decide your self worth and no matter what they say 40’s can never get to be the new 20’s, it’s just a glib ad liner, in case you thought so..
Don’t let the world set the terms and conditions for your life while standing up for your principles or values.
A missed promotion, job, client or opportunity doesn’t spell the end of the world and if the system doesn’t value honesty or integrity it’s their loss, competition sucks and life can be unfair, play the game by your rules.
Sorry, you don’t have to fit in with your marital family, workplaces or friends like a glove, so don’t become an apologist for your choices, opinions, values or ideologies. At the end you get to keep your dignity and that’s no mean task, so compromise is not a good idea.
Zindagi is not a ‘jung’ or battle to be won at all costs; that’s just a corny Hindi movie line. Drop out of that rat race, competition is meaningful and purposeful only if it’s about improving you and not with comparisons.
Unfortunately, as kids we’re taught otherwise, and were unhappy every time time we lost out. We thought that success lay in beating everyone else by all means fair or foul. By the time we realise the futility of it all, three quarters of our life is over.
Excellence doesn’t lie in the genes… so don’t punish yourself if your kids aren’t good with grades and stuff that you did. Skill, competence and abilities aren’t hereditary or genetically transmitted, but acquired with hard work and determination. Remember there’s only one Sachin Tendulkar and the genius isn’t in his genes, but sheer dedication.
Teach your kids to be appreciative of what they already have, because try as much as you can, you never get to be more pretty, cook better or more talented than Kiara or Karan’s mom, as children can be pretty hard in their comparisons with their peers.
Stop trying to please them with all what your money can buy, instead teach them to respect and value what they have while helping them to set realistic goals in life. Ideally it would be a great idea if we had it all but realistically life doesn’t work that way, so it’s not a wise idea to aim for the Moon and Mars, so make the best of most you have…
Image source: a still from the short film Bin Bulaaye/ YouTube
Writing is soulspeak will dare to dream own up my piece of sky..mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend we all are.. but, being your own person even more. read more...
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