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I don’t want to lie down and stare at the ceiling, neither do I want to get out of bed. There is a feeling of utter hopelessness engulfing me.
It’s a Monday morning. But does it really matter what day of the week it is. I seem to have lost all semblance of day, date and time. Thank God for the sunrise and sunset, else differentiating between day and night would have proven to be yet another challenge!
I don’t want to lie down and stare at the ceiling, neither do I want to get out of bed. There is a feeling of utter hopelessness engulfing me. As an adult, I can understand the necessity of being locked down, but how do I explain the gravity to my young children. Children who want to run in the grass without a facemask, meet their friends for a birthday party, burst the khoi bag and gather around for the little trinkets.. How do I empower them with positivity and happiness when slowly, inside my own self, I am only looking at despair and disheartens.
As the country slowly proceeds towards unlocking restaurants and malls, how do I answer the young curious minds that ask – “Why can’t schools open if shops can? Are we not the future of the country? Safety is important but if a gradual unlock is happening across the states, shouldn’t schools be given priority?”
People at every age need their own company. To ensure that my kids have a safe and comfortable childhood, I am one of the many moms that give up on luncheons and high tea parties. I am busy swimming with them or taking them up the mountains. We play a lot, indulge in YouTube cooking videos and managed to keep ourselves busy and occupied for months on end. But everything gets to a stagnation point.
I am craving my own life, where I can wake up one morning and not worry about the breakfast menu or the activity of the day, without a gadget of course. I want to wake up to absolutely no responsibility or duty. Maybe I want to have a frozen margherita in the afternoon sun, or laze in the hammock as the breeze wafts by. I turn to my side and sit up as I stretch my arms up high and attempt a soft smile – Thank you for a beautiful day! The ritual of the day has begun.
I have to keep walking for the light at the end of the tunnel does appear eventually. I’m responsible, I remind myself, for two other lives. And no matter how draining it may seem, I don’t have the liberty of taking the day off. It will come, eventually. But for today.. once again, I wipe the tears of loneliness, kiss the garlanded picture on my bedside table and force a smile – for someone else.
Is it Monday… or is it mun-dane!
Image source: whoismargot on pixabay
Pooja Poddar Marwah is an Indian author and blogger. (October 22,1978) Her foray into writing began in a parking lot, whilst she was waiting for her kids’ co-curriculars to get over. Her debut read more...
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