When The Husband Wanted To Invest In An ‘India’s Porn Stars’ Venture!

“What are you thinking about? Any inputs? At least tell me what you think about my idea. I am very excited; I think we are going to hit the jackpot.”

It’s a lazy Sunday evening, we’ve binge watched Netflix the whole day and now we are chilling on the bed. Me on my phone and my husband on his laptop while the little one is busy playing with his toys.

Husband: (Looking at his laptop screen and watching a video) “I have a new business idea. I think it will do really well in India.”

Husband: “Porn is a big industry let’s explore it. I think it will be a game-changer.”

Removing my eyes from my screen and looking at him in sheer disbelief and shock. He does come up with many ideas and we have a lot of these discussions but porn?? Why would he want to explore porn? What is wrong with him and what exactly does he plan on doing?

Me: “I don’t understand! What are you talking about?”

Husband: “What is so complicated? I am talking about porn. It’s a great idea and it’s unexplored in India. Imagine – we will be the pioneers in this venture. Let me start reading and researching about it and I think you should too.”

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While he is busy researching on his laptop I am thinking in my head that he has gone completely crazy. I understand he likes exploring new ventures but Porn? Maybe I should try changing his mind without dampening his enthusiasm. On second thought why is he so enthusiastic about porn in the first place? Has he been watching too much porn lately and I am clueless about it! It’s okay to watch porn but a totally different ball game to invest money in it and go public with it.

Husband: “What are you thinking about? Any inputs? At least tell me what you think about my idea. I am very excited; I think we are going to hit the jackpot. I am so mad at myself that I didn’t think of this before. I wish I thought about this earlier and we would have been settled in this business by now. This is a sure shot success!”

By now I am judging him! Maybe I am insane to entertain this nonsense. What kind of a man wants to invest in porn. Let me give him some examples of how it’s not a great thing for society as a whole.

Me: “Why do you feel this will work? The liquor industry is also a big business and those invested in it make a lot of money but so many lives are destroyed. People don’t really like or respect that kind of business. No one will respect or appreciate what we do. Would you like people judging us on the basis of what we do?”.

Husband: “What nonsense and irrelevant rubbish are you talking about? There is no logic, and how is this even related? India doesn’t have anything like this. There is a big market for the same; it is just not explored by anyone.”

Me: “How do you plan to go about doing this ? Where will you get the people from?”.

Husband: “Yes I agree, finding people is a big problem and In India, there are not many people who are trained for this. It is going to be a first so we need to work this out. Trained manpower is very crucial to this, we need people who know about the business and they need to know their craft well”.

Me: (Scoffing at him) “What training does one possibly need? I think people are already trained and they have the experience.”

Husband: “No they are not, we need specialized people for the job. I am considering getting people from the United States for starters. I think we need to start small and invest in training people. We need someone who knows their job really well”.

By now I am increasingly frustrated with this conversation. So many thoughts are running in my mind- First of all, he clearly watches too much porn and now if that is not enough he wants to start a business. He doesn’t even read the news that there is no market here, how unaware and uninformed can he be!

Husband: “What name do you think we should use? I was thinking ‘India’s Porn Stars’.”

Me: “I don’t like the name and besides you should know that porn is banned in India. All this is not possible and unachievable! Don’t you read at all? Why don’t you search google and check for yourself!”

The husband stares at me like it is nobody’s business. I try to read his expressions; it’s a mix of confusion, shock, and disbelief. He is speechless for a while.

Husband: “What did you just say?”

Me: “I said Porn is banned!”

Husband: “I was talking about ‘PAWN’ not ‘PORN’. Don’t we both watch America’s Pawn Stars on Netflix? What have you been talking about all this while? What do you think of me and what do you think I plan on doing? I don’t believe you! You were actually thinking that I want to start a porn business. What exactly did you think and how do you think this can be done? You are unbelievable!”

Well, I had no answer because I was laughing my sides off for the next hour or so. Don’t blame me; both the words sound the same!

All hail ‘India’s New Porn Stars’! (Sorry Pawn)

Image source: a still from the short film Ghar ki Murgi

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