It Does Not Make A Man Feminine To Like ‘Girly’ Things

In India, it is easier to be ‘the uninvited.’ The word- the uninvited- in a group of friends is usually the teetotaller or an occasional drinker.

One of the reasons it’s concerning is because of its impact on men. Indian society has given enough space for a woman to escape from the same. It is because she isn’t given enough freedom.

Well, I don’t mean women empowerment is all about women having the freedom to drink- it is, in fact, a lot more than just a drink.

Unfortunately, men face pressure in several ways too. Why can’t an individual choose what they want without any judgements? The standard set by so-called society has made it a more complex life for all!

The stereotype of being the breadwinner

Here, I talk about the pressures faced by the men. Firstly, it has been fed into our conscience that men have to be the breadwinner of the family.

Women of the house can work, but other things are coupled with it. Firstly, she has to take care of the house. Secondly, she supports her family.

This stereotype is because the man must feed his family. The pressure for the men to earn is thrown on him from childhood.

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Education is a necessity to him and a luxury to her. After graduation, if he takes a break to figure out what to do next, every acquaintance concludes that he is sitting idle.

Whereas if she takes a break after graduation, she isn’t idle because it’s time to learn the household work.

Every single person should learn housework

My question is, why isn’t it normal for a man to learn the household work? If a man takes care of the house, we immediately associate it with femininity.

Considering Kabir Bansal of the movie Ki & Ka, if men were not ridiculed to like household work- several men could’ve chosen it.

Moreover, the entire concept of what men can and can’t do is incorrect. What even does ‘men can’t cry,’ ‘men don’t like pink,’ ‘men hate shopping’ and ‘women are so dramatic’ mean?

How does an emotion, a colour and an action lose their essence if it is him?

Does one gender have complete access to certain terms?

I wonder if these shallow sentences ensured that one gender has complete access to it and another gender just can’t do it because it looks more feminine.

The worst part is few of us don’t realise that this is a problem. Since childhood, boys were groomed in a particular way. Boys are supposed to like certain things and to do things to look like a man.

We create a man’s world which is known to be a superior one and differentiate it from the woman’s world which is usually an inferior one. Are we sure that he is comfortable in his world or few compulsions made him comfortable in it?

To attain equality- can’t we focus on creating a better world for women?

A kitchen is not a tourist spot for men

For decades, the kitchen is considered a tour for a man. We celebrate if a man cooks and look down if women can’t cook.

The big screens have also played this concept several times. How many times have we seen men in the ads of a dishwasher or a pressure cooker?

Another non-implied inference is that few soap ads show that it is a woman’s responsibility to ensure the health of her home.

A man will not lose his masculinity if he likes feminine things

Famous TV shows like Friends have also implied this very strongly. There are some problems in this too which goes unnoticed. To specifically talk about one episode- “The One with Ross’ Teeth,” is dedicated to the issue of men becoming feminine.
In the episode, Chandler is concerned about Joey becoming more ‘girlish.’ It is because of Joey’s sudden interest in knitting and flower arrangement.

Soon, Chandler becomes restless that all of his friends are becoming women. He tries to prove his point by identifying that Joey has become more dramatic. In the end, all the so-called girly kinds of stuff are replaced in Joey’s room.

Well, the problem is not about where that stuff was finally replaced, it is the self-doubt that strikes in these men’s minds if they are becoming women due to liking certain things.

There are similar instances in the show wherein things are either deemed as girly or boyish- such instances and issues may be dated back to the show airing in 1995; however, these issues cannot be ignored.

Isn’t it time for everyone to realise that a man won’t lose his masculinity if he does anything that is conventionally girly?

Image credits: Yan Krukov on Pexels

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