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When my marriage ended in my mid 30s the set pattern of my life suddenly broke down, and made me think - do we really equip ourselves to deal with unexpected changes like these, growing up?
We are accustomed to life’s natural journey and our entire world revolves around this process. Every stage of our life is age-defined where a certain natural rhythm is followed and we are unobtrusively engulfed by it. Right from our birth to growing up, schooling, college, career, work-life, marriage, kids etc., this cycle is set and we must flow in this predefined dogma to avoid unwarranted circumstances.
Have you ever thought if one process falls out on a tangent, could we gracefully cope with the unexpected situation? Our society pays so much focus on this natural rhythm that we fail to prepare ourselves if ever this rhythm goes out of sync. Are we equipped enough or have the right survival tools?
This thought came to my mind recently when I was slapped hard by reality. I was taken off guard when one fine day my spouse decided to part ways, thus leaving me midway in my late 30’s and disrupting the natural rhythm of life.
I had to put a brave face and move on; work hard on myself to heal, to console my perplexed mind that we will get through with it, and yes we will find love again.
The post-separation journey was indeed a joyride, the feasibility of living a single life, those flirtatious encounters with younger guys that cajoled into a burst of youthfulness. All seemed exciting and surreal. Until when one such encounter with a rather young and handsome boy shook me to my senses.
It seemed like a fling, yet so oblivious that I was in love with him. Love is defined as beautiful, indeed but also can put you on wit’s end. My uncontrolled emotions were too much for him to handle, and he reluctantly got detached from me. On confronting him he bluntly told me what I did not want to hear. “Where is this going to lead us? There is no future. I have to get serious in my life, I can’t mess around anymore. Love is too much and look at who we are.”
It was inevitable. I was a fool to think I was free, yet I forgot he was only 23! At times we try so hard to place ourselves back in the derailed tracks of life; we fail to put things into perspective. Once we miss out on life’s natural rhythm, it becomes so much harder to find the right chords to mend back again. Sometimes it’s luck, sometimes it’s one’s destiny, and the rest of the time it’s the crude reality of picking up the broken pieces and simply living a quaint life of solidarity.
Image source: a still from series Anamika/ Pocket Films
An eccentric woman from Mumbai, living through the rose coloured glasses, one step at a time. I believe integrity and character are timeless catalysts that give us an impetus to survive through our undefined impeccable read more...
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