Why Mothers Of Today Are Kicking Off The Golden Pedestal We Put Them On

“You can do this if you are a mother.”
“You can easily understand the child’s problem, you are a mother.”
“You must know why the baby’s stomach aches, as you are a mother.”

These are some general statements every mother has heard, agree?

Mothers are considered the supreme human beings, and we all love our mothers. There are little things that make a mother superior, or if I may say the ‘best’ to create the world for a child. Mothers have a connection with a child that cannot be substituted.

But wait before you make the mother stand on a golden jewelled pedestal.

But by dumping all this responsibility on to the mother, are we not tying up her wings tighter, or putting her on a pedestal, asking her to contribute more; in other words, sacrifice more?

Mothers do not wish to stand on a special stage and have a bag of guilt to carry. Mothers wish to kick off the so-called stage that is set for them.

When a woman steps into motherhood, she faces pressure from everyone, be it from family, relatives, colleagues, or society. All expect her to be perfect, quick, handy, a problem solver, selfless, a nature lover, a remarkable cook.

Mothers are human

A mother is a human being too; let her have her breathing space, and let’s not treat her like a robot where every wish is fulfilled in a blink. She cannot always be an Annapoorna for everyone in the family and fulfil all their wishes for food. It can happen that the meal she prepared turned out to be less in quantity, or not ‘up to your standard’. Every person cannot master all skills, so there is nothing wrong with asking for help in the kitchen.

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Mothers can be career-oriented

Mothers can be career-oriented too. Do not judge them for their choices and personal growth, or ask them about their life priorities bluntly, or pass sweeping statements.

Adding the baggage of having to manage both home and work can be so traumatic and overwhelming, that most women opt to drop their careers. Staying at home is not a demeaning task, but for a few, it can create a depressed state where they are unable to work on their career or passion.

Mothers have mental health issues

Mothers have mental health issues too; we cannot expect mothers to keep smiling all day and solving all problems of kids and the household without a frown. In fact, contrary to popular belief, motherhood can be a source of great stress, so let’s not minimise it by giving out messages only of a smiling, beautiful picture of motherhood popularly peddled to them.

Mothers also get angry, and this should be recognised and accepted. Just like others, they will express their anger; it’s human to vent out.

The stress a mother goes through is a serious condition that needs to be addressed rather than conveying to them that it is a phase and that “soon everything will be okay.”

Not enough to remember and praise mothers just for one day

By praising mothers on one day for their varied roles, we think we’re doing a fab job, but we’re adding more burden subconsciously on mothers, to continue to be ‘selfless’ and ‘boundless’.

If a mother can like her child with all flaws, then the child can also love a mother who is a little self-oriented, a little irresponsible, who forgets at times, who fails at times, who has dreams, who has a career.

On this Mother’s day let us all give wings to mothers by taking off some of the burdens on our mother by appreciating the person she is, and by accepting that mothers are humans too.

Image source: a still from the short film Maa

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