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Your goals made you move to a new city. I saved my pocket money to call you from a local PCO since my house used to get itemized phone bills.
Dear Crush,
When I write this, I feel as if I am 19 years old again.
Could we rewind further to our childhood days as tiny tots and neighbors? Due to your dad’s job transfer, you had to move out of town. Our paths crossed again unexpectedly after a decade or more. Amidst the crowd, our eyes met unexpectedly at a family function. I recognized you, but I wasn’t sure if you remembered me. For the entire event, I kept looking for you and felt butterflies in my stomach whenever our eyes met.
I finally found the courage to speak with you. You were equally pleased to meet me. The function was over, and you said goodbye before leaving. To find your number, I searched the telephone directory. Thanks to God, I was able to reach your landline number. After several unsuccessful attempts and blank calls, you finally answered my call on the landline, and that was the beginning of our journey.
After three months of our non-stop phone calls and breaking the stereotype, I proposed to you. It was love at first sight for me. You needed time to respond to my proposal. I never got impatient, and after eight months of waiting, you gave me a sign that we should be just friends.
Later, you avoided my calls, even though I never asked you to love me back.
Time was flying. I had reached my college years at that time, and you were nearing your college graduation. Your goals made you move to a new city. I saved my pocket money to call you from a local PCO since my house used to get itemized phone bills. Life, competitive preparations, your job, and finding your way were all frustrating you. Whenever you needed me, I was there to listen and help.
Eventually, your professional commitments made you busier or you pretended to be too busy to respond to my texts or calls.
I too had my master’s and busy life, but I never forgot about you. Only called on your birthday once a year, but you didn’t respond well to that, either. In fact, you said something once that made it appear that I didn’t belong even as a friend who was with you in your troublesome period.
Perhaps, that was the day and moment I said goodbye to my heart that was filled with love for you.
I got married and began a completely different life. Through an acquaintance, I learned that you got married to your true love. I often dreamed about you.
Seven years ago, I emailed you to find out if you were okay. As we connected on the phone, I was barely able to speak. You told me that I was missed, that you made a mistake and were sorry for hurting me.
Through all these years, I had lost my heart to you, which was repeatedly stomped upon. Despite the fact that you never reciprocated my love, I could never love someone the way I loved you. You still have no idea if I have moved ahead in life or if I am still waiting for you to love me back someday.
I call you my crush despite gray days. My crush on you will never go away, and I will never forget the day and the way I fell for you. We are in different time zones and sheltering under different skies, so I don’t know if we will ever collide. But that’s a sacred wish I hold close to my heart.
Anonymous
Image source: shutterstock
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