The Dryfruit Bowl

Suhani, take these three bowls and give them to Megha, Meha, and Sanjay.

It was a normal winter morning, the common morning with nothing new, everyone is in the hustle and bustle, Megah and Meha for school and Sanjay – Suhani leaving for the office.

Suhani is in a rush to pack the Tiffins, lunch boxes, and water bottles and then to drop the daughters at school and at last off to the office.

After finishing the household chores at 9.00 she also leaves home and completes her duty very well.

Her MIL is a helping hand but she tries to manage most of the loads before she goes to the office.

The three bowls are filled with dry fruits and dates and amla a healthy dose of power pack winter nutrients for both the daughter and her husband.

Although she is also going out and completing the entire chorus nobody offers her anything on any day but she never complains or asks for the same.

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From making Tiffin’s to packing Tiffin’s with tea and snacks on the table she is managing everything on one hand but nobody found the need to give her.

As such she is also a very firm and self-respected girl she never took her hand as she felt nobody has offered her what she should take.

On that morning, as the same routine, she took the three bowls and offered each to everyone but as the husband is having a call he denied taking one. So she put the remaining bowl on the table and completed the remaining work and just left for the office.

While she was closing the door, she showed the dry fruit bowl on the table and takes it into her hand, and tried to leave but within a second her MIL sees it and said, why are you taking this? I said Sanjay has denied taking and there is one bowl left so I thought to take it, but MIL said it’s not for you and me it’s for Sanjay and the two daughters as they are going out for work and study, we ladies should not eat this, this is for them only. Just put the back in Dibba and go for office. I cannot speak a word but tears rolled out from my eyes.

I cried all my way to the office and felt very insulted. After being nurtured for 25 years by my parents I have never felt this kind of discrimination or sexism. Our parent has treated us all equally and now being a DIL why discrimination against my daughter, daughter-in-law, and husband (as a male child), I am doing more than what my husband is doing for home and their parents.  Then why DIL cannot eat dry fruits, this is something that I could not tell anybody but felt very hurt.

After a lot of thinking and juggling with thoughts, the first thought that come to mind is now I will never eat dry fruits from this home or when my in-laws will offer me, but immediately the second thought that came to mind is do I need to go with the flow or change the flow? And I choose to change the flow.

From the next day while filing the bowls for my kids and husband I took the fourth bowl and filled it in front of my MIL for me, she asked me why four bowls.

I replied with great pride and confidence in myself, “ Mummy,  the fourth one is for me, as I am the caretaker of the whole family  I also need stamina and strength, If I will be not good who will take care of me, I am taking my self-care. She was staring at me and looking at me with her wide-open eyes. If you want I will fill one for you also.

I got my pride on my hand and now she felt bad.

If I have left my right to be right and equal, I might have lost my right but I choose to be right and take my place.

Nobody is going to help in your situation, everyone wants to be part of the story and you only have to decide your role, whether Hero or villain or side actor.

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